March 30, 2017 at 5:26 pm #4679
After @julierei‘s Periscope things became a little clearer… How do they break our hearts? They break our friendships and they dismantle our community. They make us become hungry for attention and pissed off at those who get it. They make us divide into factions and throw friends under the bus.
They know what we are capable of and how we will go for the jugular. Look what has already happened:
@bcbishop… a few snarky comments because he’s considered by some here an “influence” and got special treatment because of his profession and relationship with DLB & Clint.
@julierei was told to choose 5 people. She naturally chose her friends. Opps. She just fucked them over. (which I know those of you who she chose don’t really believe that but you get what I’m saying). She was manipulated by the high powers and at her hand not theirs did her friends lose out on an opportunity. That fucking sucks.
You have the get together with the Losers Club… which I know @thebuz has not malicious intent… but it purposely is excluding the ones who received a “winner” email from Sarah.
The Lust Experiment: We’re going to show you have you’re all really fucking assholes (borrowed from my friend @bcbishop)
We’re seeing a community go at one another already and nothing major has happened. There’s really nothing to be arguing over and yet I’ll say it… I’ve already been called a bitch.
For those of you that are my friends, anything IG, I will do my best not to fuck you over because I see this getting really ugly. I’ve been saying it for a few days now. But, it’s seems to be becoming clearer. They know how much this community means to us and how we have dedicated so much love to building it and the friendships that have come out of it. If there is one thing that would break me is fucking over any of the people I consider family. Yeah, I probably just put my weakness out there.
March 30, 2017 at 5:32 pm #4680CandaceParticipant
This makes so much sense and seems dead on. Would you sacrifice your own desires for people that you care about? This is going to get so crazy. I feel it. Even people that don’t really know anyone..it still sucks to throw people under the bus so to speak. I can already see this getting cut throat. And as much as nobody wants to blame anyone I think there’s gonna be a lot of inevitable hurt feelings along the way…
March 30, 2017 at 5:32 pm #4681Brad RuweParticipant
Are we REALLY excluding “winners” from the get together tonight? Like I get why it started but who’s really going to exclude someone just because of an email response from this Noah asshole?
March 30, 2017 at 5:42 pm #4684
March 30, 2017 at 5:46 pm #4685
March 30, 2017 at 5:51 pm #4688Anonymous
Straight up I’m excluding the winners.
This is losers, no replies, and maybe’s.
Winners get to win, and we get to drink (and potentially solve some shit).
If the experience intends to split us up then by God we’re going to be exclusive. And we’ll look damn good doing it.
The winners got an email, we have a movement. MAKE LOSERS GREAT AGAIN.
March 30, 2017 at 5:53 pm #4691Anonymous
Look… the community will only fracture if we let it.
We can faction up and be jealous and petty at each other, or we can be The Mother Fucking One and be magnificent.
What I’m trying to say is:
Team Wyld Stallyns
March 30, 2017 at 5:54 pm #4692Taylor WintersParticipant
It appears we are delving into a lot of ethical issues. This type of issue seems like the classic “Trolley Problem” in which you have to make a split-second decision to either let the train continue down the tracks, killing one person on them, or divert the train, sparing the one’s life but killing the five people on the train.
@julierei was given the choice: her and five others. And she chose herself. This actually how most people would respond. The ethics in a situation like this fall under Deontological Morality. We don’t do a cost-benefit analysis on the choice. We choose from the gut.
And with that being said, I’ll reiterate what I said earlier. I’m very happy that you chose me. Thank you for that. Sarah is the one who made you choose, so I would never blame you. Thank you; I have your back. They won’t tear apart this community that easily!
March 30, 2017 at 5:55 pm #4694
@nothenrygale and @genghistwan … I think you may be misunderstanding me. The Losers get together tonight was a small example compared to Bryan and Julie’s case. I honestly don’t believe @thebuz is trying to create a division. But, I don’t know. How would people feel if the “Winners” created a night out. Would you try and go even though you didn’t receive a “winning” email?
The bigger picture isn’t tonight’s get together. It’s what can happen we when begin to act like Noah and embody his personality. When we begin to question our friend’s motives and intentions, that’s when things will get nasty. Many people here have built strong relationships with other participants. What better way is there to hurt us than to break those relationships apart? The emotions from this will bleed into OOG. It’s inevitable. It happened in Tension.
I hope I’m wrong and that they won’t be messing with our friendships and relationships. I pray I’m way off base. Right now though, unfortunately, I don’t think I’m that far off.
and I stand corrected… I guess he is trying to create a division lol.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by M..
March 30, 2017 at 5:56 pm #4695Kyle BownParticipant
I don’t think this will be the case (and really, really hope it isn’t). But if her saying your name meant you were out for good, would you be so forgiving?
Feel free to not answer that hypothetical, I’m just curious in what way, and if, that would affect your view.
March 30, 2017 at 5:59 pm #4699
@michelle You put the nail on the head of what I’ve been feeling over the last couple of weeks. I wasn’t all that comfortable about throwing up my thoughts on this just yet but now I know I’m not alone in the way I feel about Noah Sinclair and Lust.
I got the loser email. I remember calling Noah and asking for another chance. But I’ve had time to reflect on all of this and I know what I’d do if somehow Noah or Sarah contacted me asking me for that second chance.
I’d reject it in a heartbeat.
I’m not the kind of person who’s willing to discard friendships and allies for the sake of personal gain. I can’t put the relationships I’ve worked so hard to forge on the chopping block if it meant I’d get a bump up the ladder of attention Noah wants us all to climb.
I’m not cut out for what Noah is trying to sell. And I don’t want to change myself or do things that would go outside of my character, of who I am in order to become someone who is cut out for it.
If it means Noah never notices me, fine. If it means I’m going to be a loser for the duration of this OSDM experiment, all right then.
Noah, Sarah, Lust…I’m just not the kind of person this is for. I don’t plan on bowing out-not by a long shot. But I can’t bring myself to push and break others to push myself one step closer to whatever Noah wants me to be.
And to that note, I still feel sick about calling Noah that day. I fell for it. I was drawn in by the allure of wanting to be a ‘winner’. I wanted to not be a ‘loser’ because for a single moment, I feel somehow incomplete unless I had become a ‘winner.’ I didn’t want to be a ‘loser’ and wanted any chance possible to reverse it.
I felt weak and that if I somehow managed to get a chance by Noah, it’d somehow validate myself and make me feel more like a ‘winner’ or closer to being one.
I no longer feel like that though I do feel weak at the thought of wanting something like that.
March 30, 2017 at 6:02 pm #4701
March 30, 2017 at 6:03 pm #4702MarandaParticipant
Without a doubt, there will be more decisions like this in the future. Do you save yourself or throw others under the bus? We will have to choose with imperfect information, thus we can’t make our choices logically. Adding on to what others have said about not not fracturing the community, the one bit of advice I have to offer is lifted straight out of Attack on Titan:
“No one knows what the outcome will be. So as much as you can… choose whatever you’ll regret the least.”
March 30, 2017 at 6:04 pm #4703
If The Tension Experience had the BOS, a group that refused to follow the OOA and submit to their will..then I’d guess Lust’s version is a group that refuses to follow Noah’s will. People who don’t want to be like him or gain power his way-at the expense of breaking others.
March 30, 2017 at 6:05 pm #4704Taylor WintersParticipant
@bruinbown; I think that’s a really interesting question. It doesn’t seem like the case. But if hypothetically I was out for good, I wouldn’t hold it against Julie. She had a split second decision and she chose from the gut. It wasn’t a calculated, cold move–but rather a quick, emotional decision. And I had no say in it. I would be disappointed–very very disappointed. But I wouldn’t put the blame on her. But it’s also important to note, I would be fighting to get back in. I wouldn’t take it easily.
March 30, 2017 at 6:07 pm #4705
exclusion is a terrible feeling, I don’t know why we inflict it upon ourselves: ‘They’ will do it to us. Why take on that role? I think what we fail to realize is there’s only a slice of the pie currently available, out of the whole pie, and we’re fighting over crumbs. I wanted to be involved more than anything, I didn’t get picked, twice over, and it hurts, but I’m relatively obscure here. (still catching up on the plot twist though)
But here, especially before 5/1 and the experience begins, no one deserves name calling, hurt feelings or otherwise shitty feelings via the internet. It’s supposed to be fun and mysterious.
I keep finding myself wishing there were more tension puzzles, so everyone at their own pace, could go on their own journey a bit.
March 30, 2017 at 7:29 pm #4736Haley WildeParticipant
I completely agree with you, exclusion doesn’t feel great. I lurked most of Tension and kept up with Mike & Russell’s podcast so I felt as though I was a part of it but I really wasn’t “in” the community. I attended Ascension, and knew I wanted to be active in the community for lust. I’m trying my hardest, but sometimes there’s still that feeling of exclusion. I hope that the community can rise above what Noah’s system is attempting to do. I want to remain united, however, I believe human nature will get in the way of that. We all want Noah’s approval whether or not we realize it, and that will be the demise.
March 30, 2017 at 6:09 pm #4706Andrew KaschParticipant
If it makes you guys feel better, @thebuz is my best friend and he even told me straight up I couldn’t come.
Sometimes being a “winner” (which I am totally not) is not as much fun.
And ditto on the fractured community thing. Over the course of Tension, we were fractured many times (I was pushed so hard, I even quit twice)…but we also always came back together stronger. So there’s that!
March 30, 2017 at 6:10 pm #4707Anonymous
Come on out tonight @theladyj!
March 30, 2017 at 6:15 pm #4708
@thebuz I have to work, unfortunately, but I’m grateful for the acknowledgment. What time is the event? ALSO, still catching up, what is on Sunday?
Also, I think if everyone just has fun, we’re all winners. It’s when we take this too serious people get their feelings hurt.
March 30, 2017 at 6:16 pm #4709Tom HiteParticipant
So, that trolley problem… it’s a compelling dilemma, but it ultimately only exposes the same thing that Julie’s dilemma did: everything is an information problem.
There is no “ethical” answer to either problem, whether it’s running a train [phrasing] into more or fewer people or selecting five besties to attend instead of you: unless you are aware of all the consequences, you cannot make an informed decision.
Should one plow the engine into the crowd, or let the lesser amount perish? Well, it really depends on a much more philosophical question than Jerry Seinfeld probably intended it to be: who *are* these people?
But seriously – it makes all the difference in the world – what will these people do with themselves after not being slaughtered? Will they practice kidness? Will they presume that, being “chosen” to survive that they therefore are superior? What if the same people you save then murder dozens more… where are the ethics in a black-box equation?
And so it is with us: we all have our lives – but even more importantly, we have our agency. Our choice and our will to speak and act. We tend to believe that we are responsible for the results of our words and actions – and that’s not wrong. But if we overextend that sense of justice to things we could not have reasonable knowledge of, then we only create false blame, leading to false guilt, leading to that all-too familiar cycle…
It’s what *they* are depending on: our abandonment of logic for the sake of ego.
Maybe it’s time to break the cycle.
March 30, 2017 at 6:16 pm #4710KristinParticipant
it’s gonna get wild.
March 30, 2017 at 6:20 pm #4711
March 30, 2017 at 6:21 pm #4712Anonymous
@theladyj Starts 7:30 tonight. Will go till we all get tired or too drunk I assume.
March 30, 2017 at 6:21 pm #4713KevinParticipant
While I’m relatively new to this, I mostly lurked near the end of Tension, but I’m trying to be more active now, and that’s because of the community. I’m not super into sharing with people, let alone strangers, but everyone here is welcoming and chill.
So if Lust does get rough, I think it’s important to remember that this really wouldn’t exist without the strong community that was built, by the OG people, and is continuing to be built by the OG people and the newbies. The community certainly seems to have a strong foundation and has always been welcoming no matter your level of involvement. I’m glad for that and I assume a lot of others are as well.
So that’s a rambling way of saying, don’t let them break what everyone has built.
March 30, 2017 at 6:21 pm #4714
March 30, 2017 at 6:23 pm #4715thehazelverseParticipant
This is a false dichotomy. Anyone can come to tomorrow’s gathering. As @thebuz mentioned, this was in good fun to take a moment to reflect on where the creators have put us.
Winners have all the right in the world to host their own party. They just failed to organize one.
March 30, 2017 at 6:24 pm #4716MikeParticipant
March 30, 2017 at 6:26 pm #4717KristinParticipant
If anyone knows how to break us… especially those of us from the beginning… it’s them. I’m positive we can hold it together. We’ve been through plenty already! ?
March 30, 2017 at 6:51 pm #4719
March 30, 2017 at 7:10 pm #4721
Clearly I’ve ruffled a few feathers by bringing up tonight’s gathering. That wasn’t my intention at all. It was merely to point out the ways in which we as a community are beginning to be divided. So thank you for pointing out to me that I am creating a false dichotomy @hazelverse. But, am I really when a group of people are told they aren’t welcomed or not invited? Hmmmm. Plus, out of everything I said in my original post, why was tonight’s gathering what most people focused on? Is it because I hit a nerve?
What happened today with @julierei in a small way reminds me of an incident last year that tore apart the community and brought us to our lowest point. I’m only saying in a small way. The deception in manipulating a participant in a way that affects other players can make a huge impact and that is what I mean by comparing the two. Right now, it’s early on and there’s not a lot at stake. As the stakes rise, it will become a different story for some playing.
I can appreciate new participants not thinking that this isn’t capable of getting super ugly. Some may not know the ugliness that occurred last time. We can all say how we have one another’s backs or how we’re this strong ass community. However, when real emotions come in to play, it’s difficult to turn them off. And, well, everyone wants a piece of the pie, right? Noah is just going to see how far we’re all willing to go to get that moment in the spotlight.
Sin with perfection has new meaning to me now.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by M..
March 30, 2017 at 7:12 pm #4722
March 30, 2017 at 7:15 pm #4724
March 30, 2017 at 7:16 pm #4725Lukas LParticipant
Hey now. You all have built a amazing community. While everything amazing has its glitches, its amazing none the less. But everything amazing will get tested. It will be tested for its flaws, for the chinks in the armor. We knew damn well lust wasn’t going to be us all in our bra’s and underwear having a pillow fight. Well maybe some of us hoped that but that’s besides the point. Shit @bcbishop was told to flippin run. We were warned multiple times.
Winners, losers, maybe’s and not worth an emails, lets stop being snowflakes and realize that we have entered the shadow world. A world very similar to our own but not. Realize in this world that things are going to happen that may make it feel like a thong has been pulled up over your forehead. But its the shadow world. Never lose sight of that. The shadow world is no holds barred. But for gods sakes in the real world, “Be Excellent To Each Other.” ::@mike Drop::
- This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Lukas L.
March 30, 2017 at 7:25 pm #4731
@mumumusings – You said something way back on page 1 – YES. Thank you. I’m standing with you. I was actually going to say something earlier but didn’t want to steal @julierei‘s thunder tonight…then it turned out to be all about this.
I realized that I had been posting to try to say to people GUYS IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU GET IT’S THE COMMUNAL NARRATIVE EXPERIENCE GUYS. Except that the very first thing we saw, Noah’s website, specifically told us to get what’s ours, fuck everyone else. And so I clearly was exactly what Noah said I was – a loser (though I have a feeling that’s not why he said that).
I’m not willing to “take what’s mine” here. I don’t believe anything is “mine.” I want *an* experience very badly, and TPTB know that and know I want to be challenged, hard. But if I need to fuck over my friends for it, I don’t think I can do that. Or want to. I don’t feel like spending the next several months being shitty to people.
I’m beta testing another ARG for a theater company in PA right now and it requires me to have daily one-on-one interactions. Yesterday’s interaction turned into nearly an hour long confessional that started with me talking about my mother’s death and ended with me talking about the creators of Tension. So, you know, everything in between those two things. I love you guys but the experience I’m after is to hopefully examine myself. I’m still putting myself back together after last year. Tension was really hard for some…Lust is going to be harder. This isn’t always a happy rainbow thingy to squee about. Sometimes it’s harrowing and cathartic too. And dark as fuck. And frightening. I have a letter that ends with “I personally look forward to destroying your heart.” And I’ve been looking forward to that since that letter arrived at my house – which, coincidentally, was in the middle of my heart being actually destroyed, in the biggest “extreme emotional haunt” of my life.
I hope that there’s an experience for me out there. If this isn’t it, then ok. I’m not going to be a bigger asshole than I already am.
March 30, 2017 at 7:28 pm #4734
Flattered about the response but please don’t say things like ‘stand with me’. I get that we agree on something but I’m sure as hell no leader. I’m not that kinda guy.
March 30, 2017 at 7:29 pm #4735
March 30, 2017 at 7:30 pm #4737
March 30, 2017 at 7:33 pm #4739MikeParticipant
@mumumusings – you stop talking like that right now! You’re more of a leader and stronger than most of us. You did not get to come to LA to attend any meet ups, any parts of Ascension, or anything, yet you stood right next to all of us and all of that that whole time and NEVER complained. You shared something SUPER personal with III on a public forum. Any of us in your situation wouldn’t have been able to do the same. You’ve been here for us, participating, talking, being active….so dude, you ARE a leader.
March 30, 2017 at 7:34 pm #4740
March 30, 2017 at 7:36 pm #4741
March 30, 2017 at 7:39 pm #4743
March 30, 2017 at 7:47 pm #4744
I go where I want and do what I want. I love who I love and that’s that. #cuddlepuddleonsieparty
March 30, 2017 at 7:47 pm #4745
I’m grateful as hell for the kind words, you guys. I should at least explain my point of view, though I’m not sure if it’ll make sense.
I’m not the kind of guy who can lead a movement, who can be at the forefront or the bleeding edge of something. I certainly don’t think I’ve got what it takes to make the ‘hard decisions’ that a leader would.
I won’t try to underscore myself and what I’m capable of. But I know my limitations and I know I’ve tried in the past to overcome them and well…they didn’t pan out well for me.
I’m someone you can lean on if needed, someone who will try to take the burden off of your shoulders but I’m not the man with the plan, so to speak.
March 30, 2017 at 7:47 pm #4746
P.S. I love storms and will dance in the rain when it comes. ❤
March 30, 2017 at 8:13 pm #4756Lawrence MeyersParticipant
I hope @julierei doesn’t mind if I parse this event…
@bcbishop just reminded me that what just happened was Julie saw her Shadow. When confronted with an instant decision, which does not permit the thinking function to engage, since it is a slower process than the feeling function, Julie made a choice. And in doing so, the Shadow is more likely to engage the stimulus than the higher-functioning Ego will. TPTB know this, and are using this tactic. Fuckers.
Remember, the Shadow represents aspects of ourselves we don’t like and we are ashamed of. It popped out and told Julie, “Of course, save yourself!” Arguably, my Shadow is actually speaking right now, attempting to make myself appear way smarter than I actually am.
In response to her decision, Julie’s ego generated guilt. In fact, that was Julie’s instant reaction — one she shared very boldly ON CAMERA with us? (courageous!) “I screwed you guys over”. She felt badly about the decision to (in her mind) place herself over us. It doesn’t matter that it may not have even been a selfish decision from an objective standpoint. What matters is how she felt about it. Those are her feelings, her reality. For all we know, those going in on Sunday are going to be psychologically abused and tortured, made to look at Clint’s puppy fetish with eyes strapped open like A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. I cannot think of a worse fate, personally, and would gladly permit my Shadow to put @meghanmayhem in my place.
Jung might also say that if she hadn’t made that choice then the Shadow would have remained repressed and come back to haunt her late. It might have appeared as resentment towards those of us she did choose, or in some other way that would have been unpleasant for her. Things could later become much worse for everyone! That which you fail to bring to consciousness shall return to you as Fate. (See CAPE FEAR. DeNiro is Nolte’s long-simmering shadow that does return as fate!).
So, good for Julie!
Per Jung (“Understanding Dreams”):
The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.
For those she initially chose, we should ask ourselves how we felt when the rug was pulled. And I hope each of us privately felt, “Oh, bummer. Damn you, Julie.” Good. Talk to that voice. Ask it why it said that. Ask what it
by saying that. Yes, literally. Talk to your Shadow and acknowledge it.
So going forward in LUST, I think we should “sin with perfection”. You want to be a winner in Noah’s “System”? Let the Shadow out. It’s going to scare the shit out of each of us. We are going to find some really unflattering things about ourselves. Again, go see THE BABADOOK if you haven’t. Hell, remember “Groundhog Day”? The movie was literally about Bill Murray repeatedly seeing his Shadow until he incorporated it and could psychologically and temporally escape from this predicament.
They want to break our hearts. They want to do it by turning us against each other by KEEPING US CHAINED IN THE CAVE. The way to combat this is just as explained. Acknowledge the Shadow. Be grateful that whatever action someone takes results in higher self-knowledge, and resting in and acknowledging whatever feelings you have after each moment in the narrative. Hopefully, we each then escape our chains in the cave, with the help of others returning from the light, and all emerge more whole.
Alternatively, fuck it all, and let’s have an orgy at Call Me @russell‘s house.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go burn down Tiki-No.
My Shadow is whispering voices to me that it’s something I must do.
March 30, 2017 at 8:32 pm #4762
March 30, 2017 at 8:37 pm #4764
@kipsie that would be me.
March 30, 2017 at 8:42 pm #4765Tom HiteParticipant
@larry I’m compelled to bring in some Lao Tzu to this concept: self & shadow are a dialectic, after all, and I am reminded of some lines from the opening of the Tao Te Ching:
“Thus, the constant void enables one to observe the true essence.
The constant being enables one to see the outward manifestations.
These two come paired from the same origin.”
It seems that you’re suggesting our selflessness and selfishness might also be on a dialectic, and that by avoiding one, we create a false sense of virtue which only brings us further from understanding of the entirety of the “self.” This is a crucial and (dare I say) key concept.
Even A Clockwork Orange is about this: Alex’s journey as he dives into hedonistic abandon leads him into such a fully saturated orgy of selfishness that he passes through to the other side – in a 21st chapter, Burgess ends the novel with Alex ruminating about how pointless it is to attempt to impart moral wisdom: “And so it would itty on until like the end of the world, round and round and round, like some bolshy gigantic like chelloveck, like old Bog Himself (by courtesy of Korova Milkbar) turning and turning and turning a vonny grahzny orange in his gigantic rookers.” (Of course, the American release withheld that chapter, the publishers reckoning that we’d find it overly-sentimental and incapable of reconciling it with the precursory narrative…).
So, yes: the coming storm is sure to drive many into the safe shelter of their perceived virtue, their pretense toward being “the bigger person,” to fight their “human nature” and refrain from speaking the horrible truths written on the lids of their eyes… but that won’t be what saves us. We won’t be free of this spectre of human nature until we dance naked in the rain.
Fortunately, we’re all pretty used to stripping down in the name of truth-seeking.
March 30, 2017 at 9:06 pm #4767Lawrence MeyersParticipant
@prufrock5150 Holy crap…that’s pretty amazing, Tom. Thanks for sharing this. I’m heartened that these concepts bridge both culture and time. I’ve never gotten around to the Tao, and it’s about time. I’d even add that we not only dance naked, but buy up those lightning rods from the guy selling them down the street. I’m told he rarely passes through town, but does so when he knows the storm is coming.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Lawrence Meyers.
March 30, 2017 at 9:14 pm #4769RussellParticipant
“The Storm on the Horizon…”
Does it have to be a storm? Maybe. I am catching up and doing my best to understand the mixed emotions people are pouring forth. We are all complicated in our own way and this experience is going to be different for each of us.
Personally, I don’t mind sincere emotional investment to go on this roller-coater ride. However, as several have stated, if the purpose of the ride is just to cruelly mess with us because we are willing to be messed with… that seems pretty pointless. If the emotional investment could potentially lead to self discovery… great. If it begins to seem that whoever is pulling the strings behind the scenes is just trying to get a reaction or playing us for shock value, then I have a feeling many will lose interest pretty quickly.
The moment of putting @julierei in a position of split-second decision making may have simply been a test to learn more about her thought process. It was not a test she failed… because she couldn’t. It’s all just information.
I personally believe the community should be cautious about thinking someone may have done a right move or a wrong move in any situation. We will all have choices to make, probably.
And… rarely will we know the ramifications of our decisions until much, much later.
March 31, 2017 at 11:24 am #4892
Little late to this, but I want to say my piece. Also, appreciate the concern @theladyj even if I was a little confused by it. Mostly honored though.
I like a lot of you. I’ve raised glasses in toast, laughed with many of you, slept on one of your floors and half-jerked it in front of one of you. I consider many of you dear friends.
But if the choice ever comes down to me vs you, you all can fuck right off the edge of my dick.
March 31, 2017 at 11:25 am #4893Brad RuweParticipant
“You all can fuck right off the edge of my dick: The Lust Experience Story”
March 31, 2017 at 11:53 am #4898
March 31, 2017 at 12:11 pm #4905
March 31, 2017 at 12:13 pm #4906
March 31, 2017 at 12:13 pm #4908
March 31, 2017 at 12:17 pm #4910
March 31, 2017 at 12:29 pm #4916
March 31, 2017 at 12:37 pm #4917
Alright, so, I posted yesterday, and then more stuff happened last night, and then damage control happened this morning, and…
I’m not on any Slacks.
I’m not on any large group chats.
I don’t live in LA and am honestly only getting info from what is posted on the forums and what anyone is willing and able to tell me one-on-one outside of the forums.
So, you know what? I’m not there. And I’m going to try to shut up. Because talking shit about a thing you weren’t at is ridiculous and makes you look like an asshole.
Noah is encouraging this community to cannibalize itself and by doing so demonstrate that it never was a community. I’m not saying “don’t play the game” or “fuck Buz.” I have zero problems with what Buz did. I’m saying get over being upset about it, if indeed you were. Buz is a great guy. I fucked up my own relationship with him and I wish I hadn’t.
There was a point last year where someone (a gatekeeper?) said “have we not earned some trust?” And that’s relevant right now, and I’m saying to *whoever* that there is some trust earned. That this whole thing is not one big episode of Survivor. That the amazing beginning that had my jaw on the floor is a promise of things to come artistically. So, I’m ignoring the rest. I’m not quitting but I’m not interested in what Noah’s selling. I know what my shadow self looks like so if you’d like me to go ahead and create that account for you I can do that – you showed me that last year.
I’m real bad at playing this game.
The rest of you – if you’re making this about you, stop. If you’re bitching ANYWHERE about what someone else is getting and what you’re not getting, stop. I’m not saying don’t grab the experience when it’s in front of your face, @thegilded, or do what’s asked of you in the moment, @thebuz or @julierei, but when it’s *not* you, buckle up buttercup. Take the experience. Stop the whining. Be present. Stories need main characters and it is highly likely that a few people will get a LOT more interactions than others. That’s how it works. They also need minor characters and choruses and that might be the rest of us. Enjoy the ride and remember you must be THIS TALL to ride it.
EDIT: I have been told I did not fuck up my relationship with @thebuz so I stand very much corrected. That was entirely a narrative I invented in my head.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Megan.
March 31, 2017 at 12:38 pm #4918
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March 31, 2017 at 4:42 pm #4993
I’m not a great writer so apologies if it was unclear, but that wasn’t the whole sentence and it wasn’t really directed at you.
If “Survivor” or Battle Royale or whatever is Noah’s game, I’m not playing. I choose not to. I didn’t make his cut early on anyway and I’m not going to bend over backwards to prove myself to someone who has given me no reason to respect him. If that gets me zero personal one-on-one interactions or phone calls or special ME moments then oh well. TPTB know how much my heart and soul was invested in Tension. I trust them. But I’m not selling my soul FOR Tension.
March 31, 2017 at 10:04 pm #5049SummoningDarkParticipant
I’ve been staying away from this for a bit and letting @wanda102 catch me up, partially because of time restraints, but partially because the events so far have left a bad taste in my mouth. We are a small community of very strong-willed people. There will be cliques and fractions formed without someone fanning the flames, so to do it intentionally, as Noah seems to be doing, strikes me as a very dangerous game to play. At this point, what reason do we have to trust or follow Noah? He has done nothing but resort to blackmail and petty schoolyard politics. I’m with @coryphella at this point, I’m here, but I won’t play his game. Someone asked me earlier if I wanted to go on Sunday and honestly I don’t think I would if it were offered. To those who are going, be safe and mindful.
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