Explanation for my switch

[Brad Ruwe]

Hey gang, for those who have been following along on Slack, you’ll have seen my recent message to our mysterious powers that I’m done with the fight. I’m willing to work with and hopefully learn from them. Me being super loud and obnoxious BOS guy for the past year, it obviously came with lots of questions. I know it seems like a sudden shift, but some times breaking points do that.

I’ve been fighting. A lot. For a long time. Fighting with my family, fighting with my friends, fighting with people here as part of the BOS. Growing up, I had a temper. Hell I’m sure you’ve noticed I still do. As a kid I would sometimes get physical, which obviously got me in trouble in school. Which of course prompted more bullying from kids looking to set me off. It got so bad I once attempted to end it all in 7th grade. I had to learn to adapt to survive. I had to learn to shift strategies. I learned to counter the bullying with words, with logic. Get the bully to expose themselves for the type of person they are. Expose them for others to see and hopefully for them to see themselves that their behavior is unacceptable.

But now, that strategy doesn’t work anymore. We live in a society where peoples’ ignorance and deplorable behavior are a badge of pride for these people. It doesn’t make the problem go away, it only makes them more resolute in their actions. This has caused that fight to be seemingly never-ending.

So here we are now with BOS. An organization built literally on fighting. Fighting to stop “the big bad”, fighting to save people, so on and so on. Being part of that for the past year, compounded with fighting with my family, fighting for my career, fighting with people here out of game, it’s tiring. And I’m exhausted.

That constant fighting has made me the sort of person I can’t bear anymore. You’ve all seen some of my fights with certain community members. Some of you are aware of more fights behind the scenes. The BOS fight has led me down a path that is making me more confrontational, even on small matters. And this is why I’ve given up the fight for BOS.

So now, why join whomever these people are? Why not just walk away? The short answer is “the only way out is through”. The long answer is power. Bullies don’t respond to logic, but they do respond to power and control. I’ve posted, semi-frequently, videos about social manipulation and how easily we are to be manipulated. I’ve posted them to try to make people aware of manipulations and how we can fall prey to them. But they often were ignored even though they tie in explicitly with what’s being done to us.

Which makes me think people have just accepted manipulation in their lives. We’re so used to it that even if we “break free” from whomever is doing this, we’ll just find another system to “guide” us. Because we ARE always being controlled and manipulated. Which makes the fight of the BOS ultimately neverending.

But these people have power, have control. We saw it last night. I sent out a message that I was willing to work with them, and within minutes @unseenpresence gets a phone call and suddenly becomes my #1 supporter in Slack. I know plenty about this power and control they have because I’ve built my career around it. These past years working in advertising it’s all about convincing people. Convincing people to go to this movie, watch this show, buy this product, etc. Advertising is essentially an industry based on control and manipulation. It is a skill that I have plenty of experience with, and one I think these people can help me learn and get better at. It’s all words words words.

@addisonborn I know you’ve been confused by this. I would be to if I made a “move” as part of a “game”. But this is not a game, this is a lifetime of fighting that has led me to recognize that power and control are the only ways to end this fight. And that’s something these people seem to have plenty of.

Noah / “He who must not be named” / Whomever really set up my meeting for tonight, I’m ready. This has been a long road but I accept a new _path.

[Cristen]

We all let our tempers get the better of us sometimes, I know I do too, and I think it’s really brave of you to admit that like you did. Thank you for clarifying all of this.

[Addison]

@nothenrygale thank you for opening up to us about this decision. While I personally disagree and for some reason cannot put myself in your shoes in this situation, you’v obviously made up your mind.

I cannot support your new alliance as you were an outspoken member of the resistance and we’ll miss your voice, perspective, and fire, and it hurts to see you take that to the forces whose manipulation we’re combatting.

But I can promise that we’ll be here when you need us and we will never stop fighting for you.

[Bryan Bishop]

I applaud you explaining yourself here, @nothenrygale.

I don’t know that I believe — at least, not yet — but time will tell. <3 <3 <3

[Brad Ruwe]

Skepticism is to be expected. I don’t know what tonight holds, but hopefully it brings some clarity.

[Lawrence Meyers]

@nothenrygale I admire your use of reason and logic to counter irrational actions borne of emotion. I await further news of your next steps towards clarity.

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