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@coryphella Well done! Your post and @bcbishop have helped organize my thoughts together in more coherent and less snarky form.
I was this close to walking away. I had lost trust in The Experiences. And while goofing around online, in between porn, I came across the scene in LOTR (the non-porn version) where Gandalf returns and says “I’ve been sent back, until my task is done.”
I don’t know what that task is from a story standpoint. I know self-actualization is a lifetime journey one never fully completes. We find the Self, then evolve again. Out of the MSE came a step of completeness, yet in its place, something malignant grew. I almost became consumed by the complex of needing an enemy. I think I’ve shaken that off. But that this complex appeared at all was a herald of this new journey.
However, I don’t think any of us are jumping into the abyss. That quote from Nietzsche hit me (cuz it’s the only line I know): “Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”
I think @bcbishop is right. I think TPTB were so eager to dive into the unconscious that they failed to see who they made a deal with (The Big Bad) and in doing so awoke an ancient evil — an evil that a cult has co-opted for its purposes, and now controls them as well. They stared too long into the abyss and have been corrupted by their own monsters, or perhaps Clint has, and DLB is trying to subvert it. And now Clint’s thoughts manifest into material things and people because of the power the abyss has placed inside him, and the evil grows.
An analogy came up in analysis in talking about the Balrog and Gandalf (yes, this is why I have the best analyst ever cuz we talk about LOTR and Star Wars and Harry Potter). Moria represents the dark journey through the psyche, and the Fellowship has instinctual fear of this journey because of the risk of death. Jung would say it represents the hazard of disintegration of the psyche. And in fact, he talks about this in his book PSYCHOLOGY AND ALCHEMY (!).
The Balrog is an ancient primal collective complex, residing deep in the unconscious, ready to destroy us. Gandalf tries to order it away (“Go back to the SHADOW”), but instead falls into the abyss and does battle with it, passes through fire, and in defeating it, the fire cleanses him and he becomes whole — transcendent — Gandalf the White. The Self. The cleansing fire is also in Jung’s book and as we know, an alchemical symbol.
I submit that DLB and CS did not defeat the proverbial Balrog. They fell into the abyss. Clint appears to have been consumed. DLB is apparently hanging on to the cliff, saying, “Fly, you fools!” (“Walk away, Bryan”).
We are The Fellowship. We stand on the crumbled Bridge of Khazad-Dun. Do we fly and continue our journey, or await what comes next in Moria?
WE FLY. To the light. We mourn the passing of Clint and Darren, our wizards. Now we think for ourselves, and let the BoS orcs chatter and squeal and remain in the darkness. We have a difficult journey ahead. The question is whether Noah is Elrond…or Saruman. Or is he Theoden, the good and wise king diseased by Saruman who needs healing? Is he someone to align with? Perhaps. So far, he hasn’t actually steered us wrong. And I buy into his messaging.
SO — I propose a gathering of our Fellowship.
Over the hill there in Lothlorien (NoHo?)
And think like the Free Folk to see what our individual paths might be.
And how to deal with the growing evil in the East.
AND MY AXE!
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And I will go a completely different direction than you, @larry, but for the same reasons. I’ve just said it elsewhere and I’ll say it again here–I’m thrilled that people are starting to re-think past placements and stand forth.
As to where we go once we leap, there are multiple options. Some of them may not bear fruit immediately–but I can tell you that I’ve been taking every step I can think of to find where the Order went.
Every single step I can think of–constantly. Because I’m not joking when I say that I want to walk directly into their -real- spaces and see what they’re doing for myself.
Perhaps that’s where the phone calls about illumination came from–a response to that journey. If so, SEND MORE. Bring it on. Open the door. If you can TRULY illuminate me in some fashion, you had better believe I’ll talk about it.
Or maybe they’re worried that they’d have to hit me an the NDA, order me to be silent and give me some fiction somewhere to tell people–and I’d instantly tell the truth instead and out them. Honestly? I don’t know what I’d do in that situation, because if the story is good enough, if the narrative is strong enough, I might WANT to help. That’s the honest, 100% truth. They -could- sway me if I found the story interesting enough. And even if I didn’t find it that interesting, I might well go along with it all anyway, to find the next step into the mysteries.
And I’m even aware that saying the above might immediately make me suspect forever here. I’m okay with that outcome if I have to be–because I’m done with ANYTHING other than exactly how I feel and think and taking EXACTLY the steps I feel I should. And right now, those steps are walking RIGHT INTO the Order’s front doors if they open to me.
Perhaps they’re completely silent for the time being, in which case I will keep searching. After all, that’s been my journey in life already–to seek out a REAL moment beyond the normal in a world full of people who claim to have such, when I have not. Maybe that will never be part of the Order–then nothing has changed. I’ll be disappointed to see another failure; then I will keep moving.
Perhaps they’re afraid to let me in, because they’re as much of a sham and fraud (or perhaps simply not able to show me anything real) as everything else I’ve tried. In which case, I will eventually see that truth. And like any other, I’ll talk about it.
Does that make me as foolish as some believe the Creators to be? Possibly. It’s a 50-50 chance, by definition. Does it make me ‘bad’? Perhaps–I’m still standing here and saying what I will do after some here have legitimately been hurt emotionally by what’s happened recently.
But if the goal is EMOTIONAL TRUTH, then that’s mine. I do not have the history that makes me have a strong reaction to those so far hurt. There are others around here that I have already built enough of a connection with that I -would- feel it. Maybe even one or two that could be used to pull me in a direction, as has clearly been done to others before me.
But that isn’t where I am now. I cannot pretend sadness when I am not sad. I can empathize on a personal level with those who DO feel it and wish that they did not. I can recognize that what has happened to them–if true–is problematic at best and criminally evil at worst.
But -my- existence requires proof. It always has. I never -negate- someone else’s story, because I cannot be them and cannot be certain (unless I was there) what actually occurred. But that is also my point–if I am there, I -can be-. I can see it with my own eyes. I can hear it with my own ears.
And if it is something intangible, I will know.
That is my journey. My path. My goal.
Bring it on, either side or no side, if you can help me with it.
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@unseenpresence I get it. But consider this: there is no Order. There is no HQ. There is no place they are.
The Balrog lived in Moria, but that wasn’t where it was born.
You’re a sometimes-academic. Think of it as Eisenstein.
Thesis – Antithesis – Synthesis.
TPTB want to do immersive theatre (thesis)
They find investors (antithesis)
Tension is born (synthesis)Everything that grew out of TPTB’s minds was given shape and form. Now it has been manifested and acts freely.
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I’ve considered the idea.
As I said, I may search for this and it may not be there in any functional way.
But I am not as certain as you are, because I -choose- to remain a Schrodinger’s cat for the time being. I am neither a believer nor a disbeliever. I am able to move in whatever direction I choose, because I -choose- to allow for the possibility that the Order IS there.
Perhaps they are the investors after all.
Perhaps the Creators simply generated something that is now a beast of its own, rampaging through our emotional psyches and doing whatever damage it does until we -all- finally walk away from it.It may be all of these, or none. That’s why I say, IF the Order exists, open the damn door and show me.
My journey will be seeking either way. They have the potential (if they are there) to win a BIG convert if they can show me -anything- I cannot and do not expect.For now, I -choose- to leave that possibility as valid. Because after all, as I have said before, only Catholics get possessed.
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@larry – you can have your gathering in NoHo but you’ll have to skype me in or something, obviously. My thread, my rules. 😉
(I am very glad that people are being inspired and reenergized by all of this today. I think some of us needed it.)
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@coryphella I am the NoHo mascot (and presumably invited) so I’ll make sure you’re projected on a screen with us, ha.
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