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Today, Morgan had an unsettling day on Slack.
It started when @a arrived to announce the release of Anointment tickets. Amid the excitement, Morgan posted, “Guys.. be smarter than they are giving you credit for.” @lilmsfancpants asked, “@111error are you suggesting we don’t go at all?” He replied, “@lilmsfancpants I know how people here see me. I know how I’m talked about. I don’t see any point in dissuading you or anyone else, just please keep your wits about you.”
After that he was silent until the evening, when he posted this video: https://youtu.be/xA5fDWQlyNk
In the video, he appears to be massively spiraling.
People reacted with concern and alarm. @lilmsfancpants invited Morgan to share more specific warnings and concerns, to which he replied, “@lilmsfancpants Everyone gets angry that I don’t answer their questions, as if I don’t see them! No one stops to think about why I might not answer. Why I might not be ABLE to answer. There is so much you don’t know. Why do you think I was once linked to Joan Of Arc? Why do you think I sacrificed my OOG friendships with you all for this horse shit I deal with daily? I’m going to burn alive before you realize what I lost, let alone what I was fighting to save people from.” His post was immediately deleted, as were the posts immediately following that referenced it and linked to the archive.
This raised several questions.
1) @a has lately allowed so many of Morgan’s posts to stand. Yet this post was immediately deleted and subsequent references to it were also deleted. What was it about this post that triggered the hammer coming down? Was it because he stepped OOG? Was it because he referenced a mysterious reason why he’s not able to answer?
2) “No one stops to think about why I might not answer. Why I might not be ABLE to answer.” Previously, Morgan would say that he was withholding answers for plausible reasons…not wanting to endanger his plans, not wanting to give us information that would make the OSDM want to keep us quiet, etc. etc. And those explanations were allowed by @a to stand. This suggestion that he’s UNABLE to answer…what does it mean? Medically unable to, as in he’s conditioned or helmeted not to be able to? Legally unable to? There’s clearly something holding him back – what?
3) “Why do you think I sacrificed my OOG friendships with you all?” This was new, the reference to Morgan’s OOG losses, particularly of friendships. That’s something that we’ve never talked overtly about here on the forums. I remember @sfire8 asking us about it recently. I wasn’t personally sure how to answer. Because the truth was, this was something that I thought was behind-the-scenes. Beyond the scope. Yes, it was referenced in the Joan of Arc painting, but it seemed private, somehow.
But, apparently, not anymore.
When Morgan was revealed to be the leader of the BOS and The Midnight Commission, he was scorched by a backlash unlike anything I’ve seen before or since. Some of the backlash was general (“I wish had known this was part of Lust, I feel left out” etc.) but some of it was very specific to him. He received vicious hate mail and death wishes. He was shut out of events. People threatened to leave the experience because of the way he had been elevated. Friends questioned whether he had ever truly been their friend. What was intended as a gift to the community was thrown back in his face.
At the time, the Lust Facebook acknowledged what was happening by posting a picture of Joan of Arc to conclude the chapter. But for the most part, the fallout took place in the shadows, over private phone calls, anonymous texts, and the like.
Now, apparently all those fractured relationships are in-game. Morgan’s fall from beloved community member to pariah is in-game. Whatever in-game means, at this point.
And I genuinely don’t know what it means. My friendship with Morgan is real. As I once said in my Periscope for Noah’s challenge, that friendship may be one of the only things I’m absolutely sure of. Everything else…I don’t know.
As Morgan asked some of us recently, what do we know? What do we understand?
Nothing.
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Good as time as any to call it out, @daela.
Re: Joan of Arc. She was called by God to lead the French against the British, and won. But she was captured and the English burned her, not the French. So I’ve never seen the parallel.
What I did see was community rage.
If anyone was angry at @111error and lashed out, one would do oneself a great service to ask why. I’m not going to apologize anymore for going on and on about the Shadow within — because this was an example of both people’s individuals Shadows rearing their heads, and the collective Shadow. If anyone is regretting their behavior at the time, congratulations. You’ve seen the ugly side of yourself. Now talk to it and look for the hard answers.
My IG beef with @111error has already been expressed. That being said, Morgan is a passionate and committed individual. He believes he is not ABLE to provide information, so I take him at his belief. Perhaps it is objectively true, perhaps not.
The truth is: it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter because of what we learned about Morgan — the Kortney situation notwithstanding (which I believe went askew from its original intent) — is he is someone I am proud to call a friend, and who showed himself to be a man of enviable character. Plot doesn’t matter. Character does.
It doesn’t matter because, beating the horse mercilessly, we are in a cult, we’ve been told we are in a cult, and we’d have to be chained in basement to have not bought tix for the MSE. We’re so deep that we don’t even know how deep we are.
Which is why I’m less concerned about Mr. Silver, and interested to hear more from @mike and Briarberg.
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Look, I know I haven’t been active in Lust the way I was in Tension. Hell, I wouldn’t even consider myself one of the most active in the original Tension. But I’d just really like to know something.
Why the fuck is this fun? Why is it fun to tear people down or pick a new person to hate every week within the game? Why is it fun to make people feel like shit on a regular basis? Because as someone who sits and watches from the sidelines most of the time, I don’t see the benefit. The people on the receiving end feel persecuted and insecure. The people who actually send those messages usually wind up feeling like vicious monsters. We end up constantly monitoring our behavior around each other in fear of being picked out as the next victim or bully. So who exactly gets anything out of this behavior? No one.
Maybe instead of spending all of our time trying to figure out what’s in game and out of game, we could just try being a little nicer at all times, period. Maybe if this “game” were more about the theatrical details and less about what Sally did to Timmy last week, we would all enjoy ourselves more. I don’t think anyone comes to these forums to watch needless (and inevitably painful) drama, and if you do, go find a Kardashian to stalk. Enough is enough.-
@tiffany223 Like you, I am watching this drama unfold from the sidelines. I don’t know anybody personally and am not privy to the communication that goes on behind closed doors and in PMs.
Those who have a personal stake in this should correct me if I’m wrong, but I think people are acting the way they are partly because this Experience isn’t supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to push our buttons, and it has clearly succeeded in doing so. Whether these reactions we’re seeing were intended or not I don’t know. Perhaps folks are simply reacting to what’s happening, knowing that reactions are what this thing is trying to elicit.
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This is a great thread to bring this up again and please, please forgive me if I sound preachy-er than normal:
Many of you will know that I had a difficult reaction to the TMC reveal; Morgan did lie to me, via omission, and I couldn’t see at first that he’d done it as a gift to really surprise me at the reveal. I knew what his change in posttion would cost him socially, and I thought I would lose him, and I was angry. More importantly: I was wrong.
I value his friendship even more now than before my foolish attempt to end it. He respected me when our paths diverged, and I’m not going anywhere now that our paths align.Being divisive does not equate to being evil. He is STILL a member of this community. TMC/BOS/Whathaveyou was designed to get a reaction. It worked.
I don’t honestly know if anything that’s been going on with him is in game or out of game; but I’m pretty sure we’ve been told there’s no such thing anymore. What I do know is that when we’re told “we’re going to need each other,” that absolutely includes Morgan. And he’s in trouble. He started as one of us. This hasn’t changed because there’s things he can’t discuss.
We blindly bought tickets to walk into the heart of OSDM yesterday. If we can do that, I think we can give him a little benefit of the doubt there’s things he just can’t say.
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I can’t speak for everyone here obviously, I have no idea why some of you play or what you’re getting out of this. I can only speak for myself, why I am here. And I also know, because we have talked about it endlessly, that @bcbishop and I share similar intentions/goals in this: this is not really a game for either of us. We are both committed to giving in fully to a 100% emotionally honest experience. Historically that’s been easier for him than for me but…not so much anymore. The result of all of that is that we are living constantly with raw, exposed emotions. My husband actually compared it to what he goes through as an actor, except that we *aren’t* trained actors, and we are doing it 24/7, and we have no script. We are being asked to open ourselves emotionally to something, to be present, and let it affect us. That is going to have psychological effects and it’s why I have compared Tension to certain psychological experiments in the past.
There’s also an element to this that is PART of the experience. We are going to be at each others’ throats. It happened last August in a very destructive way. It’s honestly a part of the game. Take a group of people, put (some of) them under psychological pressure for an extended period of time, and there are going to be reactions. Furthermore I think that we (or at least I) have received proof this week that they are intentionally trying to push some of us apart. It’s their goal. And so, when some friendships are effected or even seemingly come to an end, I’m not certain anymore whether it’s IG or OOG. That is why I have said there is no OOG. My own husband feels he has been pulled into this unwillingly as a player.
I don’t know what the answer to all of that is other than perhaps there needs to be a level of empathy extended that is currently lacking. We were told, repeatedly, that parts of this were not going to be fun and now we’re here. And Mason (I think?) said on slack the other day that this is just the beginning, so…yay.
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It’s never been a game for me, either. Games have rules and winners and losers. This is not a game, and I’m not interested in “playing” it. But for me it’s less about emotional honesty (though there’s that, too) than it is just plain honesty. I’m interested in seeing what happens when I insert my true, honest self into this experience, into this world. Seeing how I affect it and how it affects me. Maybe I’ll learn some things about myself. Maybe I’ll come out of my shell and let others know me in new ways. I think that’s what I lust after, when all is said and done, and also what I fear: to be known.
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Ok, so let’s discuss this: “No one stops to think about why I might not answer. Why I might not be ABLE to answer.”
I’ve never been pro Morgan here, I know. But let’s take a jump into this rabbit hole.
Why wouldn’t Morgan be ABLE to tell us?
1. He is unable because he’s been conditioned not to. Whether through some aversion therapy or the helmet or some other programming, he cannot tell us. It is physically impossible. The act of even thinking about telling us causes him physical or psychological pain. But he can warn us, just not explain why.
2. To reveal the information would reveal his sources. Perhaps he has someone on the inside, and to reveal the information would be to put them in danger. To even hint that he has a source would be to put him n danger.
3. He doesn’t have the information. Perhaps he just knows bad things are coming and he doesn’t actually know what. Maybe MyChild, prompted by the group choosing The One as the weakness of the OSDM, leapt into action. Then, it played out the scenario for Morgan. No matter what he gives MyChild as input, things end badly for all of us. He doesn’t know why or how, just that it does.
4. Morgan is on the inside himself. He’s trying to warn us, as a ploy for TPTB, and he’s been told not to tel us anything.
4b. 4 is true, but Morgan wants to actually warn us, and can’t because if he does he and we are screwed anyway.
5. Morgan is on the inside, found the information, and if him revealing the information leads to us asking where he got it from. If he admits he’s on the inside now, some of us (probably including me) wouldn’t believe anything he said after we found out he was working for the OSDM the whole time.
6. Morgan is working with another group (like he initially was going to with Briarburg) and they have a plan. That plan requires the event going forward as the OSDM intends. The best Morgan can do to save us, without revealing the plan and thwarting the efforts to bring down the OSDM is to warn us away.
7. Morgan can tell us but refuses to and is pretending he isn’t ABLE to.
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This is one hell of a list, @bruinbown, and none of them make me very comfortable.
I feel like we’ve seen glimpses of #2 maybe having some ground. Morgan leaking the dates of the event and someone hacking A so Morgan would stop being deleted could be a source on the inside.
#3 is interesting to me. What if, because MyChild isn’t human, it doesn’t understand emotional consequence. So “End the OSDM! The One is their greatest vulnerability!” could have more destructive consequences than Morgan anticipated. Maybe you’re right. Maybe he’s getting a glimpse of what’s to come and can’t get out of it.
#4 and 4b could tie into #3. We could be screwed no matter what.
As much as saying this is going to piss off a person or 20, #5/6 still flashes in my head. I’m not sure I ever fully worked through Morgan leaving Briarberg. I’m still not sure a Morgan/Briarberg involvement is past tense. Maybe Morgan wants out, and they won’t let him out? Maybe Morgan didn’t know he was still in until very recently?
And #7 could be the possibility I dread most.
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Morgan reminds me of a Christian trying to save everyone from going to hell. Except at least Christians can explain why hell is a bad thing. With Morgan it’s, “You don’t want to go there, but I can’t tell you why, just trust me.” What he doesn’t understand is that we don’t believe in hell, but, if there is a hell, we want to go there. So, @111error, stop trying to save us. We don’t need or want salvation. I probably shouldn’t speak for everyone, but I also don’t see anyone accepting his attempts at salvation.
Also, I’m about 60% sure that it’s #4 on Kyle’s list. Which isn’t a high percentage, admittedly, but it’s impossible to be too sure about anything.
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We are presented with a mystery (basically everything that’s going on), and the person who might have answers to some questions we have but won’t or can’t share that information (Morgan), I believe the response some/most people would have is to find other ways to get information. And in the case of Lust, that may even be dangerous. Considering the warnings that have been given, it’s up to each of us as individuals to determine if we should heed them or not, and whatever decisions we make, that’s on us.
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