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So this is now the fourth night in a row he has called me? I really hate to admit it but this call unnerved me.
This was a more in depth conversation than normal but still 100% about me, I am not sure I was able to really get ANYTHING from him at all. I really do try. He just doesn’t answer my questions. He said he wanted to get to know me better. He told me first that I was “very prolific,” and then asked me why I liked overhead projectors so much. So…I figure that he’s looking at my website, but he wouldn’t confirm or deny anything. I answer the question about why I like the OH projectors…I mean it’s an overly artsy explanation and then he asks me about my thesis, which was over 10 years ago, and I talk about how I used the projectors in my thesis…
So, the conversation basically continues on this pattern – he asks a question, and I go to answer it, and partway through answering it he says something that demonstrates he already knows stuff about things. For example, one of the next subjects he turned to was Edinburgh – he asked me how my trip was, and I said it was amazing, and the festival was amazing. And then I added “well, maybe not so much our show” – and he interrupted to say “Transmission,” the name of our show. I mean, none of this information is hidden away, it’s just that he had it all there. He wanted to know why the show didn’t go well. Then, he starts asking about the other shows I saw in Edinburgh and it’s here that I realize he’s reading my blog. I ask him and he says “I don’t need to,” or something like that.
He asks about my friend Mariah’s show at the Edinburgh Fringe – why did it make me cry, why was that unusual, do I brag about controlling my emotions (I explained here that I’m actually bad at controlling my emotions, and that wasn’t what was going on, I just didn’t feel very deeply about most things). I would start to answer why her show made me cry, and he would say “oh yes, it’s about her giving up her son to gay parents for adoption.” Which, again, is info that’s RIGHT THERE, but…why ask me questions then??
We talked about…my green jacket, why do I like it. Do I consider myself a survivor. Why do I blame myself for everything. Why does my husband think my beliefs about love are unusual. Do I ever feel joy. At some point he murmured “muted emotional reaction” or something like that, and I said “where are you getting that?” he didn’t answer, but went on to read other things, things like “crippling self-doubt,” I don’t remember the others but they were things like “anxiety,” something else about how I hate myself or something…it was a list of things that were supposed to sound like they were coming from a file on me. That he might have in front of him and was reading out of.
At the risk of setting off Larry, he asked me “do people ever accuse you of being robotic?” and yes, they do.
He asked something like how I felt talking to him, or something that led to him saying “if I start asking you questions about things that matter, are you going to look for the quickest way out?” This is also from my blog, it’s referencing a really amazing immersive piece I saw in Edinburgh in which I ended up being interrogated VERY unexpectedly and it fucked with me.
A couple of things that stood out that might be relevant to things – two shows that I saw in Edinburgh were called “Lies” and “Lie with Me.” “Lies” wasn’t really about lies, it was about the global financial system & crash. “Lie with Me” was basically about the performer’s journey to polyamory, and it pissed me off because he sort of endorsed lying inadvertently (I hope) to one’s partner in order to achieve “compersion,” which…no. He asked me how I felt about lies, or people who lie. I actually didn’t have an answer for that. I don’t really think about it that much I guess, whether people are being truthful or lying. I assume people are telling me the truth and usually when I find out they’re lying my reaction is more confusion than anything else. At the end of the call, he said “one final question – about that show you saw, “Lies,” you mentioned that at one point in the show you were able to understand, you said for one shining moment you understood, and you couldn’t explain it to someone now if you tried but you understood then – this has been lovely Megan. Good night.”
So was this a reaction to me insisting the Desiderata thing wasn’t about me, or my lack of belief that they would go to any lengths at all to obtain info on me? Or is this building to getting more information on me that’s actually going to shake me in the “how did you get that” sense? Because nothing mentioned isn’t easily obtained, I wrote all of that myself. (Oh he also did ask, again, about sleep – what is it with this guy and sleep? He asked if I never slept because I was manic, I think. I said that I was severely depressed but not diagnosed as manic. He listed off symptoms and said “sounds manic to me,” or something like that. Guys, I am not manic, I’ve been treated for my shit for 15 years, someone would have said something by now. Anyway I did say that blah blah if I’m going to sleep regularly it has to be disciplined and routine and with intent and that just doesn’t happen, and I mentioned having gone through multiple sleep studies, and he said “I know.”)
So, just imagine me sitting there trying to tell myself all the ways he is either bullshitting or how he obtained whatever he’s saying because otherwise I’m starting to feel just a little bit…scrutinized.
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Also worth noting – this call happened RIGHT BEFORE @mike’s call. I went back to the game (Dominion) after this call, and shortly after received a text from Mike that he’d gotten a call. So he got off the phone from the above conversation, and called Mike to discuss K-pop.
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@coryphella You won’t set me off at all about robots.
But as for others who have been warned to get out while they still can–
It’s too late for you.
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@larry – it’s too late for the others? or for me?
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You pose so many relevant questions about the possibilities of why Mason might be calling you, but I am not sure we know enough to discover an answer yet.
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@larry my question now is why are some being warned to get out and not others? If the OSDM is all about data, why have people be warned away?
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@remrelganaps The easiest targets are more likely to run away probably. At least that’s what I would think…
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@mamatato The warnings are not coming from inside OSDM. They are coming from those either already trapped the inside, or those who know what LUST is really all about. Molly’s warning to Kyle seemed to be delivered from someone who knows enough to warn, but may not be within LUST’s grasp. Erika, an actress from TENSION, warned Bryan. It’s unclear what her status is, but I am gravely concerned about her.
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@larry Everything comes from inside OSDM. Horace didn’t choose the restaurant where Kyle’s acquaintance works by accident.
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@coryphella Well I will say I have always seen you as a stong willed person and he was trying really hard to tear down that facade… did he succeed at all? That was quite a rattling phone call… I know for myself, I do a good job of keeping internal things in and if they knew any of the things from that locked safe, I would probably feel very exposed and raw. Like you said, all of this is very accessible, but someone, whether it be Mason or another, took the time to find it and log it. And I find it really fascinating that this is the 4th night of him calling you. Maybe your tough demeanor and thick skin are something that appeals to him or whoever. I’m not entirely sure the pupose of these calls from Mason… what is the end goal here? To tear you down? Or is it to gage your strength?
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@mamatato Several times through my trips through the OOA warehouse, I was warned to run. Never from a higher up. Always by someone trapped. Myles took my phone and whispered in my ear that it wasn’t too late to run. Toni looked through my paperwork in reception and told me a story about trying to run away with the circus and being tricked into joining the OOA and that I still had time to turn around. When I came back a 2nd time, Erika tearfully grabbed me and hugged me and whimpered “Why did you come back?! You got away!!”
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@shankfx22 – I think…if anything the facade that he tore down was the one of being in control (hi Noah), because I was clearly NOT in control of that conversation. He knew most of the answers already and kept pulling the rug out from under me, even if it was just a small rug. I remain skeptical of things until I see them and it’s difficult for me to believe in the existence of a file on me, or really that he knows anything about the sleep studies – I must have said that somewhere on the forums, back when there was a reference to sleep paralysis or something.
I don’t have a thick skin. I think he knows that. The only thing that I can think is he wants to get a reaction that others couldn’t get? That maybe the OSDM hasn’t been able to get, hence their “muted emotional response” phrase or whatever it was?
I am now looking at my phone each night and wondering if it’s going to ring, and how long this is going to go on for.
OH – “highly self-aware” – that was on his list of things in my file, if that’s what it was.
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Carried over from Slack, discussing what THEY know about us.
It would be unbelievably interesting to see my file and see what my bullet points are from other’s perceptions. We give a lot more of ourselves than we realize most of the time. Anyone really paying attention can see more than the shadow on the wall show we give people.
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I’m gonna throw this on here because it really isn’t worthy of its own thread. The full non-story.
So I had my theory about Mason. Felt no-one was listening. Went off to do some research. Coincidentally, at that exact time, Kim messaged me, asking about Mason. I told her my theory and she had the same one and offered to tell me why, but I was so close to it myself that I asked her not to. I posted hints to what I had learnt in status updates on here, because I was amazed that no-one had remembered the link.
I’ve been at another festival all weekend and to be honest, it’s been the final straw after a long summer of festivals. I am exhausted. And when I’m tired, I get a bit ranty and erratic. Throughout the evening, I worked myself up into a terrible mood and this culminated at approaching 1am GMT in an e-mail to Mason. I alluded to my theory that he was Sentinel and mentioned Kim. I was a bit… antagonistic? Yeah, that’s the word. His response came minutes later:
Your phone will ring tomorrow. It will be.
Recommend we don’t speak until then. Maybe it’s time to go to bed?
Ok Mason. I was being a nightmare and you were right. So I trundled off to dreamland for a few hours before going off to work the last day of the festival.
Upon waking, I saw that a few things had happened on Slack. @rizzzoooooo shared a screenshot of a conversation between Kim and Sentinel in which he introduced himself as “Mason”. Kim had also sent this screenshot to Mason… And it somehow then ended up in @111error’s hands, via an e-mail. I was pleased that this information had all come to light and felt in some way vindicated. Also Mason getting @coryphella to recite the Desiderata seemed delightfully pertinent.
I honestly didn’t see the point in posting fully about Mason’s reply to me until he had called and there was more of a story to tell.
He didn’t call.
Despite being exhausted after a full day of festival service followed by derigging a catering marquee followed by a 3 hour drive, I stayed up until 5am, waiting (ok, I had a couple of naps on the sofa when I literally could not keep my eyes open).
My phone did not ring a single time yesterday.
I just sent him this message:
I waited…
My phone didn’t ring.
Reminds me of one of my Mom’s favourite jokes:
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I’ll tell you later…But message received, loud and clear.
I don’t enjoy being made to feel like I’m stupid. Or that even though Mason’s “game” has no rules, that I’m somehow playing wrong. I was willing to listen. But maybe Mason just doesn’t have anything of value to say, other than crushing on a married woman in another state…
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Jesus, @coryphella. Gotta say, I find Mason’s infatuation with you distressing to say the least.
The way he’s vacillated between being a charmer and a psychopath has never struck me as evidence of two Masons, as much as it has been indicative of a dangerously unhinged person that flies into a rage when things go sideways. (Whether it was initially helmet-induced or not doesn’t really matter at this point, imo.)
Be careful with these nightly calls. Please don’t get too comfortable with his brand of lunacy.
Don’t forget Friday.
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as much as it has been indicative of a dangerously unhinged person that flies into a rage when things go sideways
Oh THAT’S who Mason is! He’s the director of my last show.
Be careful with these nightly calls. Please don’t get too comfortable with his brand of lunacy.
I am in Minnesota. I am in Minnesota. I am in Minnesota.
Everything’s fine.Also I think you and I both know they’re not going to be nightly.
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I want to also point out here because I’m afraid it’s going to get lost in other discussions – there may actually be information in these calls that’s relevant to a larger narrative. I’m trying my best to pick out what that is, if it’s there. Maybe it’s not there at all but I don’t want to lose the thread of it if it’s important. In this case, it was the extended conversation about lying, and the weird switch at the end to the thing about understanding for a moment, before abruptly hanging up.
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