This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 11 months ago by 
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Guys, I got played.
A little back story is helpful here. Remember when Mason gave me the Rubik’s cube in the parking lot the night we thought Joyce was dead? I took it home, set it on the shelf next to the other two, and mixed them up on accident. The cube I had been playing with for the last several months was not the cube from Mason. A plant in Slack that I let myself believe wasn’t a plant (yea, I’m pretty sure about that now) asked me if I was playing with the Rubik’s cube from Mason and how fast I could solve it. At the time, I was unaware that I had mixed up the cubes. Looking back, that was a set up to see how full of shit I was. It appears that I was very full of shit, but I didn’t know it.
Yesterday I pulled a cube off of the shelf in a jet lag fueled, unable to sleep state and realized that I had mixed up the cubes. The cube from Mason had been unsolvable. There’s probably a metaphor in here somewhere about things we can’t solve, can’t know, can’t understand that I’m refusing to accept and/or acknowledge, but for now, this is what I know. I was played, and he was checking me to see if I knew by asking how many seconds it took me to solve an unsolvable cube. It was a set up – a test. I I didn’t figure it out until I spent 3 hours fighting with this cube before entering it into a program that told me it was not in line with any algorithm. So, here we are. I took the cube apart, reassembled it, and was able to solve it in an “appropriate” amount of time.
So, Mason, at the MSE you asked me what I wanted from you. How about a Rubik’s cube that doesn’t need to be reassembled before it can be solved, for starters?
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@chelsea, Mason gave me a Cube at the MSE. I took it as a symbol of a very brief conversation we had.
He indicated that I needed to “continue working on myself” during the conversation. In my opinion, the Cube is a simple metaphor for the puzzle I am trying to solve… myself.
Right now, the Cube means more to me unsolved, actually. -
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@chelsea That the cube was unsolvable is a very specific message to you. As we discussed, I think you’re right, part of it has to do with the message to shut off your brain. You cannot solve everything just as I cannot save everyone. It’s ultimately just a fucking toy, and solving it is ultimately just serving the ego aka “Look, I did it in 46 seconds. I’m so great and smart”.
And then what? You start all over again. The end is the same every time. The only purpose is if you can beat the previous time.
Great metaphor.
This then begs the question — if it isn’t thought and puzzles and the solution to a problem that matters, what does matter?
What you lust after. Feelings. LET YOURSELF FEEL.
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