FB Post – 8/3

Image in question:

“Sculptural Construction of Noise and Speed” (Plastic ensemble) by Giacomo Balla (1915; Italy)

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by superstar.

To add:

Balla was another major Futurist artist.

Regarding the quote:

Baldwin said this when describing how people in the West would come to him crying, saying how awful they feel about the plight of those less fortunate, especially black people, in this country.
It is a commentary on how people would sooner tearfully speak of how they sympathize with the oppressed than actually do something to change it.

This was from a 1977 interview with Baldwin when he was discussing the Carter era.
Full text is HERE and it’s a good read.

This quote isn’t even harsh, it’s just reality.
It’s fine to cry- but crying isn’t going to fix the problem. Especially if you’re the problem.

Could also just be a better person so you don’t have to change. Be perfect. It’s easy. Join the System, get better.

It’s pointing to the dark weakness in human nature that people prefer to passively complain and mourn than actively do something to change the situation.

It’s one of those truths I can’t imagaine people like to hear. It’s pointing a finger. Everyone likes to feel like they’re “really trying”. This quote kinda pulls the rug of self delusion out from under the reader and whoever it’s directed at.

Also Baldwin is such a great writer ❤️❤️❤️

Or in the immortal words of John Mason, “Losers always whine about their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.” Which actually sounds like something Noah would say.

I think this goes towards a common instinct in a lot of people (myself included) to look for excuses or complain about the circumstances when you fail at something. That’s frequently the easy way, instead of dealing with what caused the failure and what you can do about it. Getting to the point where you enact change can be much more difficult.

Or maybe it’s just that it appears difficult, as Noah has pointed out to people over the last few days. @pandace88 pointed out that confronting Sergio and getting what she wanted was actually much easier than she expected. What was it that Noah said to @bcbishop all those months ago? “The fear was only in your head.” That fear or expected difficulty is probably not as much as we imagine it to be, so think about it and recognize it, and then make some damn changes.

Great memory, @kevin, I had forgotten that line. Going back through my Hotel Room Encounter post, a couple of things really stand out; things that now make a lot more sense given what we now know.

-The “prostitute” / OSDM member saying that she felt that “he” was always watching her, no matter where she was or what she did. I’d somewhat assumed this meant Noah, but this clearly seems to describe Horace.

-After the event, Noah called me and said “There are some things that are bigger than you, than Darren, than me. But wasn’t it exciting?” In light of everything we’ve learned, this doesn’t seem to be the way he would talk about The System. So… what larger plans was he referring to? A hint about OSDM involvement? Or, if Horace is the string-puller behind OSDM and The System and iConfidant as we’ve theorized, what larger Horace plot was Noah talking about?

-“I hope you’ll tell the story knowing the only fear was ever inside your head.” As you pointed out @kevin, this now seems to directly link to the tasks Noah is giving all of us, in order to let us conquer our fears.

-Speaking of conquering fears, as my wife can attest, sometimes I can get very anxious and uncomfortable in social situations — especially if I feel embarrassed or self-conscious. I didn’t think about it at the time, but the flyer incident at Seven Grand seemed to directly target that: electro-shock therapy by putting me in an incredibly awkward position where I had strangers look me in the eye and make comments while @mkarrett and I picked up those flyers.

There’s nothing new to glean from any of this, necessarily, but the idea that these clues were there from the very beginning… yikes. @lilmsfancpants: has anything about your earliest Noah encounters stood out differently in light of the last couple months?

I think this is a great quote, one that I probably need to ponder in the future, since I fear change and seem to cry a lot. Although, crying can be a form of healing, and healing is a form of change. Now I’m probably overthinking it.

I cry a lot, too, @remrelganaps sometimes for healing, sometimes just for fun. Cry away.

If crying is a form of healing, then I will never die…

@kipsie amen

Anyway, I find this post to be threatening in this context. What are we going to cry about if we don’t change (ourselves/something)?

For a long time, I made a concerted effort to not cry about things. But, what that meant (for me) was that I was closing myself off from truly embracing the complexity of emotion inside me. Like, I believed that it was silly/unjustified/weak to cry when I felt like it. When I finally let go, and allowed myself to cry… even at “stupid” stuff, like sentimental movies… I realized that crying actually felt good, and I felt like a more whole person. Strength in vulnerability, and all that.

Let Rosie Grier make you feel better.

@kevin

“Noah, can I ask you a question? Should I be afraid of iConfidant?”

“You don’t have to be afraid of fucking anything.”

@bcbishop, I completely agree. When I think back to the first meeting with him, I’m amazed at how much of what he revealed still rings true. Because our conversation felt relatively casual (ie. not an interview or him grilling me for personal information) I sometimes forget that he kept tying things back to The System and the ways that it could help me. He pinpointed very difficult, but crucial things for us to talk about and tried to show me that he had the answers.

In my recap, I was much more focused on giving a snapshot of his overall demeanor since no one else had met him yet, but it was all there from the beginning and I have taken what he said to heart. While I may not be the fully-actualized and realized person that The System can make me, I see the value in everything he said to me that night, and to others over the past week.

On the other hand, two things still stick out to me.
1) HOT TAKE: I don’t believe Timothy exists. The “everything’s fine” Periscope with Sarah was too strange, and I don’t buy it. So why bring Timothy up that first night?
2) The Noah Sinclair Book club picks some weird-ass shit.

I think that Timmy existed once, but does not anymore. Or, at least, is being kept away from Noah and Sarah. And, I wonder if Grandpa Horace has something to do with it.

During Lia’s meeting with Noah, he said something to the effect of, “I have a son… I read to him every night”. Lots of people “talk” with loved ones who have passed, or are physically distant. Like a form of prayer, or a way to maintain the connection, even though that person is no longer with us.

Also, in the “everything’s fine” Periscope… Noah’s face when he notices the stuffed toy… to me, it’s a look of loss, of sadness… definitely something there. With Sarah, too. She’s distracted for a second when he mentions it. Something’s going on.

Losing a child would definitely be motivation for Noah to become someone other than who he once was. Perhaps his quote “I’m already dead” is a reference to being dead inside?

And, Sarah… she comes across as cold, humorless, and distant. But, I can imagine how that may be her coping mechanism. Particularly if she and Noah were unable to escape the manipulations of the very man (Horace) who took their son from them.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by superstar.

Timmy definitely exits because of that call to me from Sarah where she pleaded for everyone to know that it was Noah’s bloodline (this obviously matters to Horace Sinclair).

Ok. So, what if the reason it was so important for Sarah to communicate this was because Horace was threatening to do something bad to Timmy if he wasn’t truly a Sinclair? Maybe Grandpa Horace is holding Timmy, and Noah and Sarah are trying to get him back, somehow?

Or, maybe Sarah was pleading her case so that Horace wouldn’t harm her, as well. Doesn’t necessarily mean Timmy is still alive.

@superstar I like that you brought up the idea that Horace could be involved with Timmy being withheld from Noah and Sarah. After Tanya reached out she let us know that The System breaks up and ruins families… sound familiar? She believes this is Noah’s doing but I believe it is Horace and Noah is merely being used to look like the bad guy. And maybe Noah is doing this for his father in order to get Timmy back. Remember when Horace said that him and Noah came to an uncomfortable agreement? Perhaps Timmy is being used as bait for Noah to get done what Horace wants and will be reunited with his family once Horace is happy. I know one thing: Horace is an evil asshole and I wanna see him fail and fall apart.

@thebuz “Take” a hug when you leave. That’s not thievery.

(This post brought to you by TheFuzzyWuzzyTeddyBearsAndFeelGoodExperience.) 😉

@shankfx22 Thanks. I’ve been thinking a lot about themes of motherhood/absent mothers, the importance of family, etc. My gut feeling (at least, at the moment) is that Sarah Thompson is now Sarah Sinclair (I know S.T. is supposedly a blonde, but hair is easily dyed). Not sure how S.T.’s own son ties into all of this. Maybe S.T. was recruited/lured into the System, and then was chosen by Horace to be the vessel for the next Sinclair (Timmy)?

So much spaghetti.

@superstar knees weak, palms are sweaty…

Do we know how old Timmy is supposed to be? Brandon (Sarah Thompson’s son) is 6 (first grade). I’m not sure how Brandon ties into this as well, as he is with his father and supposedly his Aunt (Tanya) in Kansas. But yes, if Sarah Thompson is now Sarah Sinclair, she very well could be a prisoner with a warped mind in this twisted family dynamic.

I love all of these theories, guys! And they seem likely. There’s got to be more to Sarah and Noah than what meets the eye. Some weakness. Timmy had to be important somehow. And people are often manipulated through their children. And yeah “the System breaks up families” seems important.

I also think the Sarah and Sarah is too much of a coincidence to not mean something. I really think it could be her with dyed hair. I thought Timmy was a baby since Noah mentioned one time he was up to his ears in “shit and mucus” or something like that? I fear Timmy might be used as a child sacrifice which totally creeps me out, like gut punch if I have to witness that…

Okay so last year there were certain verbal cues that would trigger things in the performance right? At the free workshop I really wanted to talk to Sarah, but it seemed frowned upon (by her and the other participants)? Like if I had just called out “Sarah Thompson?” Could that have triggered something? Still learning here, but my urge is to talk to these people?!

@sfire8 If we anticipate the worst maybe it won’t be so bad? Nawww who am I kidding it’s gonna suck… it will be devastating and break our hearts, just like they promised. Which is why we can’t really rule anything out, I’m sure whatever is bound to happen will eat us alive from the inside out ??

@sfire8 FWIW, I did talk (very briefly) to Sarah at Saturday’s workshop. Didn’t think to do what you suggested (doh!). Should have used the opportunity to engage more, but my mind was on a different track, at the time.

@sfire8 One more thought about Timmy…

Noah’s quote about “shit and mucus” and about his son being (ugh… I hate typing this…) “a fucking retard”… What if Timmy is a special-needs child and/or is older than we think?

@shankfx22, @superstar, special needs child sacrifice! NOOOOOOO!!!! Lol, what did Sarah say to you, dying to know?

I’m definitely not thinking that he is special needs. I think that is too literal and a far stretch.

Yeah, I agree that would be beyond fucked up. But, I’m not ruling it out.

lol. Here’s the extent of our exchange:

me: “Sarah?”
Sarah: turns to me
me: “I don’t need your dollar to make a difference.”(hands back the dollar bill that was given to @kasch and I)
Sarah: raises eyebrows as if taking mental note, takes the dollar, and slowly turns away.

Okay so last year there were certain verbal cues that would trigger things in the performance right? At the free workshop I really wanted to talk to Sarah, but it seemed frowned upon (by her and the other participants)?

I personally think there’s a huge difference between ARG events and finale ticketed events in this regard. The Powers That Be can correct me if I’m wrong, but my inclination at ARG events is to emphasize being respectful to the actors and not putting them in uncomfortable positions by doing anything too far off-script. Follow their cues. If they refuse to answer a question, ignore something you’re saying, etc., take that as a cue not to go there. I believe Sarah declined to talk to several people, which is why word spread not to talk to her. In the large ticketed event, on the other hand, it’s widely publicized that they have scripts for a number of scenarios, so trying different approaches is sanctioned.