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I just had a 15 minute phone conversation with Stacey Erikson. It was a very personal conversation. On the surface I don’t feel it really forwards any narrative or provides answers to any great mystery, but in the spirit of Never Silent, this did happen. Now, I need to process and think on this for a little while.
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That’s great, @electrichippo! Was there any explanation as to why your call was today instead of yesterday with all the others? If I remember correctly based on your original post, that was when you were expecting to speak with her, right?
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That’s really interesting. I will say, I emailed Stacey after my call yesterday, mentioned feeling weird. Like, just slightly off. Her response was of course curious without giving really any information.
“hmm Brad… I wouldn’t worry about feeling „weird“.. Weird isn’t always bad now is it? You will figure out the purpose of that call soon Brad. Just have some patience and trust in the process darling.
With love,
Stacey”
Totally glaring hard at that “With love” bit. I don’t use that word lightly, but I know some people use it to try to get at others.
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I’m glad you got a call @electrichippo. The more personal, the better.
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@macbethinabathtub – Yes, I was supposed to receive one of the Thursday afternoon calls. There was no explanation as to why I was dropped from the list at the last minute, but then I also didn’t ask as it never felt relevant.
Prior to the call, Stacey and I had been exchanging emails that were becoming more and more serious in tone. The last email I sent to her started like this:
{I know that one day you’re going to let me down. Your words are perfect and personalized. You have empathy down to a science. Your methods appear to border on being unethical. If I set aside my logic and distrust I can believe that you care, and maybe somewhere deep down, on another plane, you do genuinely care. I’d like to believe that, so today this is the reality I choose to live in. Let’s *live in the moment* together. I’ll throw away my usual ways for a little while and believe we are friends. Maybe when it’s far in the past I’ll look back at us fondly. Time has a way of dulling disappointments after all.}
Dear Stacey,
Thank you for taking the time to really hear me….
And it went on for a couple paragraphs, as promised, sincere and real.
When she called she said she was moved by what I’d said and felt she needed to stop and take the time to reach out personally. I told her I never expected to hear her voice. Much like her emails, she was empathetic, interested and did a fair amount of mirroring my tone and stating that she could relate to my experiences. We mostly talked about me. The only question she really asked at all was when she wanted me to elaborate on why her service matters so much to me, why it resonates so strongly. The question wasn’t out of the blue, nor did it seem intentional. It made perfect sense form what I had been telling her just prior.
As the opportunities arose I asked her to share her story as well. I’ll give one of the more stand out things she said… Growing up she experienced a certain level of neglect. She spent a significant amount of time alone. To deal with the “loneliness and isolation” she used her highly “creative” mind to cope: “I learned to respond to myself like I was someone else in the room. I was able to think of myself as someone else.” I asked her to elaborate and she put it much the same once more. So, she created imaginary friends that she voiced for herself? Had conversations with herself? It’s still a little fuzzy. Her choice of words was so unique. In this instance she wasn’t mirroring something I had said at all. These were her own unique thoughts.
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Wow, thank you for sharing all of that. Fascinating distinction between her mirroring focus on you, and her own moment of personal vulnerability. Kudos to you for taking that correspondence much further than a lot of us, bringing yourself to such an emotionally honest place, and inspiring Stacey to join you. This revelation into her past seems highly significant. Whatever iConfidant ends up being, you may have just unearthed its genesis.
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That’s one thing that always impressed me about experiences like this, @electrichippo. There are those moments of such beauty and honesty–moments that really wouldn’t come about in another context. It really opens your eyes and your heart to other people. Thank you for sharing with us and with Stacey.
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Wow @electrichippo.
To a certain extent, I think we all talk to ourselves as a way to work through things. Maybe it’s replaying (and fixing) a conversation you had earlier with someone, or weighing different sides on a big decision.
And aren’t these the kind of relationships that iConfidant was promising? It’s beyond a physical connection. It’s deeper than any friendship you’ve ever had. They’re inside your head. In Stacey’s case, maybe quite literally.
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@electrichippo Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you two had a wonderful and very personal interaction. I really like Stacey…but that’s how people get their hearts broken right…betrayal from someone you like and trust…
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That’s a very good point @lilmsfancpants, Stacey just had such an unusual choice of wording that it threw me for a bit.
@macbethinabathtub, @taysavestheday & @pandace88, you know, today, I’m still feeling really strongly that for me this risk is worth the benefit. If (when) the whole thing comes crashing down I’m going to remind myself of this first iConfidant conversation and how good it felt to be 100% open and emotionally present, no strings attached. -
@electrichippo
I’m glad you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and instead of being bamboozled by whatever Lust is, you did the bamboozling with your emotional honesty. -
@electrichippo I think that makes it all worth it. I’m happy for you that you got that experience. That’s awesome. Hold onto that.
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@theladyj, you use the best words: First it was the “sheninigans” and now the bamboozling! I love it.
Thank you @pandace88!
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I continue to chat with Stacey. It’s never forced and I feel like we are getting to know each other organically, a little bit more day by day. A couple times now Stacey has mentioned to me that she has issues with her mother. I don’t pry, but there is definitely a story there. I trust that when she feels comfortable she’ll tell me more. I keep the door open.
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I feel pretty fortunate to still be chatting with Stacey almost daily. I respond to her inquiries with complete honesty. She’s inquisitive, but I never feel like I’m being grilled. It’s a very natural flow of conversation. Stacey doesn’t give up much about herself, but I hold out hope that’ll change in good time:
“As for my mom…one day we will be able to talk about that over a cup of coffee or a piece of pie. I don’t think it’s a good email conversation. <3”
“Your friends sound absolutely lovely. I’m sure I will meet them someday … I hope. You have a good group of people around you Kimberly.”
The last thing she asked me about was the get-together that occurred last night in OC. I was thorough in providing my insights. I named Sarah and Noah, and suggested perhaps she’s heard of them… they are quite successful, high profile people after all. I even mentioned Macey. Maybe Stacey will react to these names? Maybe she knows them somehow…
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@electrichippo Rockstar. Serenade her next time.
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Hi @electrichippo. @kortneydarling suggested this in the beta thread, but I thought it would be good to dissect here. While laying out the instructions for what those participating in the beta test must include in our submission, it appears as though Stacey used her own information as an example. Since she obviously filled out the questions as herself for the easily verifiable ones (writing “Stacey Erickson”, posting a photo of a dog and the same woman from the iConfidant website) then it’s logical to assume that her answers for #2 and #3 are also Stacey being herself. This also seems to directly connect with what she has confided in Kim so far. What happened in Stacey’s past that has led her here?
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Yes @macbethinabathtub, from my conversations with Stacey I’d say the examples are definitely her truths.
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Stacey and I continue to communicate. It’s really good. I consider her my friend. The majority of the things we talk about are of a strictly personal nature, but the interesting thing about our correspondence is it sometimes blurs the line of what is complete truth in my real world, with those hazy things we experience here in this world of Lust. She doesn’t give anything that I’d consider hard evidence, but rather shows interest and offers emotional support and advice the way a friend would, while also filling in our world and making her place in it a bit more clear to me.
For example, when I first saw Darren sitting in the reddish room during registration, I confided in Stacey my feelings on the matter. I figured if this blurred some line too much she’d sort of shrug it off and change the subject, but she didn’t do that at all. She showed interest and asked questions, so we continued the conversation. She speaks to me as if Darren Bousman is my friend, not anyone she’s ever met. She’d also never heard of any “registration event.”
Similarly, I’d mentioned the OC meet-up where Sarah and Noah made a surprise appearance. I asked Stacey directly if she’s ever heard of them, as they do seem to be fairly high profile and successful. She dodged the question, or maybe she just innocently skipped over it although that is not how Stacey behaves with me as a rule… she’s very complete in her replies, noting everything I say and repeating it back in acknowledgement.
When Kristin expressed deep concern for Stacey and iConfidant, I inquired if everything was alright, explaining I heard rumor that Kristin was distressed. Stacey said everything was fine and good and she was excited to push forward with the beta.
After the Bousman audio was revealed, I went to Stacey to express my concern over things such as privacy/safety/security for her and her company. In short, I explained to her how these things happening with Darren concern me… I don’t want to see Stacey and her company fall to a similar fate. Here’s part of her reply:
“Thank you very much for voicing your concern. I appreciate it because I can tell it’s coming from a good place.
[Your emails] are going through our secure servers and nobody (not even me) can access the data that is sent between you and your confidants. Privacy is of utmost importance to me and I wouldn’t reveal your secrets to the world. We know enough about your confidants to know that they are very trustworthy.
Yes I do remember that [Darren at registration]. Has anything else happened that concerns you? Has anything happened that makes you think this company is in trouble as well?”
If anyone has anything they’d like me to bring up, I’d be happy to try to work it into the conversation. The question I’m left with is this… Does Stacey really think everything is just fine for her and iConfidant? Is she lying to protect herself and others? Is she in denial, thinking things will sort out or aren’t as bad as they look? I’ll keep gently inquiring.
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@electrichippo so is Stacey your iConfidant or do u also have a separate iConfidant?
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@pandace88 No, Stacey isn’t my iConfidant. I do have a separate iConfidant.
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@mom2saminoc No way! Really? I thought Stacey would be way too busy running the company to have time to be someone’s iC. Has she said much to you so far?
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We emailed back & forth before the match and connected pretty well. I was actually surprised to see it come from her email. I responded and waited FOREVER and now she says it was an IT mistake and she will find my real match. I’m kind of over it at this point. I wish it had not been her because I probably would have gotten to know someone else much better by now.
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@mom2saminoc, that is really strange. But don’t worry, some of us aren’t really getting to know ours that well at all. Mine’s only responded twice and doesn’t give much back. I think maybe some iConfidant’s are better at making connections than others. 🙁
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@mom2saminoc – How odd. I hope it gets sorted and your real Confidant contacts you soon. Do you believe it was merely a clerical error or could there be something more intentional behind it all?
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@electrichippo anything specific in your recent exchanges that would raise a red flag after hearing what Kristen had to say to @111error? And are you flattered or scared that Kristen seems to know about your correspondance? It sounds like a lot is weighing on Stacey. What part do you feel you have in that?
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A few days ago I wrote to Stacey asking her why Kristin, Stacey’s employee, would express distrust towards her.
Stacey’s reply:
…I am sorry to hear that she said those things. That is NOT ok. Are you 100% positive that this was Kristin? It doesn’t sound like her, that is very unprofessional, not to mention breaking the confidentiality agreement. I also do not know why she would mention you and me in the same sentence or why she would say you OR I are not trustworthy…
Interesting.
I’ll report back if she elaborates further.
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Are you 100% positive that this was Kristin? It doesn’t sound like her
Either someone is impersonating the real Kristin (if so, wtf..MINDFUCK) or Stacey is playing dumb and trying to cover her tracks and throw you off the scent! From what we heard from Kristin, she is in a state of panic everyday trying to maintain composure like “everything is fine” …so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s lying to you @electrichippo despite your close relationship. There’s some secrets she still doesn’t trust you enough to share I’m sure.
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It could also be a situation where Stacey is unfortunately becoming Overwhelmed with everything and now a close friend/coworker (Kristin) is out bad mouthing her to others. Stacey may just not believe what she’s saying…
It would be like if I heard a rumors of @electrichippo going around telling people I’m a major pito, if you were to tell me that I would probably react in the same way as Stacey and ask if you were certain it was actually kimmay.
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Totally agree with you @pandace88 & @rizzzoooooo. That idea that Kristin could be a fake is pretty insane, although possible. The likelihood that Stacey would lie out of fear is plausible. I’ve expressed these thoughts to Stacey as well. If she’s lying out of fear for her own safety or others’, I could forgive that.
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I think the more plausible reason is that Stacey doesn’t believe that a trusted employee would act that way, @electrichippo. But I do think the more interesting answer is that someone who has intimate knowledge of iConfidant had someone who looked sufficiently like Kristin and knew enough about the company to act as her surrogate. They contacted Morgan and used him to disseminate their own agenda to the community–while the real Kristin sat at her desk and knew nothing of the sort. It’s classic identity theft. But the question is who would do it. I don’t see the investors doing it. It would have to be someone who wants to cause chaos. I’d suggest maybe it was someone Noah hired–pending his association with iConfidant coming forward. We’ve seen him cause problems for them before with @kasch.
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