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I wanted to get this out before things started to get crazy again but I’ve been really pondering the question:
Why are we here?
This brings into play a theory I find interesting which is The Duality of Being. The theory states that essentially every person has two separate beings, an outer being (the one we show to the world) and the inner being (the one we reveal to ourselves).
This could mean dual personalities, dual wants and needs, dual values, dual beliefs, etc…
This whole experience I believe is built upon the Duality of Being. The Shadow people, the AI (my child), reflections… all of it.
And it brings us back to the question of Why are we here? We all want/need something out of this. We tell each other it’s one thing (our outer being) but is that the same as our Inner being? Perhaps we’re all just chasing the idea to become whole again. It is my belief that the reason we seek out things like this, the reason we seek companionship… is that we have a desperate need to present people our inner being so that we can feel whole with our outer.
So whether you’re BOS, anti-BOS, or a fence sitter… we’re all looking for the same thing.
To be complete.
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@thebuz
It is my belief that the reason we seek out things like this, the reason we seek companionship… is that we have a desperate need to present people our inner being so that we can feel whole with our outer.
Damn Buz, I’m not going to lie, this whole post made me tear up. Pretty sure you exposed a vulnerability within myself, which I both love and despise you for 😉
This follows along with a lot of conflicts we have been presented throughout these last two chapters. In psychology, dualism is seen as the mind and body being two separate entities that correspond together to create a human (Head vs. Heart). In religion, it is two opposing gods or principles that are responsible for existence (Old Anoch vs. New, Horus vs. Seth, God vs. Devil). We have seen factions represent the same such as OSDM vs. BOS (The Resistance), or to keep it simple two sides to a coin or even Yin vs. Yang. They collectively could represent an outer self and inner self within what we are all searching for: to feel complete.
Dualism suggesting that there are two parts to us (that generally oppose each other) is fascinating and rather relatable. Perhaps everything that is happening here with this experience is meant to tug at both ends to confuse us.. or maybe it will help our two selves battle it out to clarify what it is that truly completes us. I find it interesting that all of these different avenues of belief or faith have the same foundation with the the same end goal in mind: to find the connecting link between the two. Perhaps we are more in tune with the outer self and less aware of our inner self, but from time to time it bursts with this energy and thus we feel conflicted.
This reminds me of the The Rising Sign and Moon Sign of Astrology (just using this as an example). Each person is believed to have a core personality/self (Sun Sign) that is their foundation. The Rising Sign is the “first impression” or the way they portray themselves to others. The Moon Sign is how they handle things emotionally and usually is quite reserved. The Rising and Moon signs tend to be opposite and conflict often. I view these as the Head (Rising) and the Heart (Moon), and truthfully, the connection between the two is the Sun Sign. It is the middle ground between the two extremes; a place where they both share a space. The Rising Sign must let go of the ego and the Moon Sign must gain confidence, in order to coincide peacefully.
Like Buz said, we must find our middle ground between our two selves, and maybe that is where feeling complete will reside. When we find this, perhaps it will bring us closer to resolving the conflict between our heads and our hearts.
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I much prefer this idea to Plato’s Split-Apart theory – that we originally had two heads/four arms/four legs and were split in half as punishment by a vengeful god, leaving us as one half of a soul, wandering the earth searching for our other half to complete us. This theory means that our ability to be complete lies within us and does not rely on another. As today’s quote said, if we want a happy life, we should tie to a goal rather than people or things. And if the goal is to be complete, then we don’t need to rely on or trust anyone but our own self to achieve that.
Relating this back to my Lust experience, I still stand by the goal I always had. I thought I needed BOS to achieve it, but I realise now that was merely a crutch… I kinda like being a lone wolf. Aoooooo!
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I would *love* to say that I have two selves and to feel that there is part of me that is hidden. I would love to learn there is a shadow self that I have to confront, some part of me that I didn’t really see. I think I saw some part of that through Tension last year though it wasn’t the first time, it was just maybe (hopefully) the most effective.
I am painfully self aware of who I am. And I wish I could hide that from people in order to be more socially acceptable, but I can’t. Hence – CATS. When I do find people that I can connect to and “be myself” around, which really just means let my guard down and relax and not worry as much about what I’m going to say or do and how it will be perceived, it’s a feeling that is so rare for me it’s like being on drugs. I can be high on that for days.
So, I love the theory, but I think I need to be the exception until proven wrong, which I’m totally open to. Honestly I hate the question WHY ARE YOU HERE, barked in my face. Like I’m supposed to have a prepared, well thought out answer. I don’t have one. I’m not pretending. I tried a couple of times to do that last year and it got me nowhere, and I said fuck it. It’s not me. And I can’t be anything except me, the one me.
I’m here because I want to see if my soul can be crushed.
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I don’t see this as a theory that is aggressive or shouting but yet guiding us to take a look within and figure out what is we seek. Is it truth? Is it confidence? Is it love? Is it relief?
I guess I never answered the question “Why are you here?”
I am here to force my inner self into the spotlight until she realizes that she is loved and valued. When I went through Ascension I did not think I would come out of that experience with anything other than feeling uncomfortable, fear, and confusion. Instead when I was hooded, hands tied, and hearing taken away, facing my biggest fear (being isolate/alone or fear of the unknown), my mind started to panic and I broke down bawling. Then something beautiful happened: my mind started to go into fight mode and memories of happiness with close friends and family started flooding in. I soon found myself smiling, feeling so grateful for the good things in my life, and realizing that they are the tool to break my anxiety and fear. I am confident that I can acheive this same revelation with Lust to overcome another anxiety or fear.
We are here to find an outlet to break free of something that holds us down
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@shankfx22 – I was asked to my face several times by characters last year why I was there, and I might be misremembering when I say “shouted at.” But i meant that literally, not metaphorically. Because….
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@thebuz Thanks for giving me reasons to circle back to my favorite circle-jerk topic. This is what Jung’s entire theory of depth psychology is based on: finding the Self. Becoming whole. We do that through discovery and awareness of what is in our unconscious. The Ego, The Shadow, Personas, Anima/Animus, all the different parts of ourselves that we must become aware of.
@shankfx22 That was beautifully written — this is what made TENSION so powerful for all of us. We placed ourselves in a world that reached into our unconscious and we made discoveries.I’ve always thought of the unconscious as an ocean. We dive in and can find all sorts of things — treasures, shipwrecks, sharks, monsters — and the more we drag them onto the beach and study them, the more whole we become.
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I like that metaphor, @larry. The ocean is a truly alluring, powerful, and mysterious place. Dive too deep, however, and its pressure becomes destructive. It’s not an impossible task, though. With enough armor, one can plumb the depths of Challenger Deep. Precarious but valuable.
I used to be aware of a duality in me, but over time, it’s seemingly fused. Maybe I’m just accustomed to the internal warring by now.
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hmmm…back again with the ocean metaphors.
I have always felt there is another side to me I haven’t been able to quite reach, due to life shit & emotional trauma, and I’ve had the discussion of duality over many a bowl pack with many a friend. I really love what @shankfx22 said – “We are here to find an outlet to break free of something that holds us down.” I think that’s the key.
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Thank you @erisbonn. It was only when I was immersed in Ascension last year, and fully stripped of my walls of comfort that I use as a shield, that I realized this is a positive outlet to conquering something that may be too intimidating to bring to the surface. Everyone has their own way that works best for them, but I guarantee one thing: if you truly give all of yourself, you will come face to face with what you lust for the most.
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I’ve always thought of myself as two creatures living as one. It’s why I adopted the moniker werewolf and use it so often. I work hard to keep most of who I am secret. And it’s not always for some nefarious reason, or because of shame, fear, or whatever. Sometimes I do it because I just like to be mysterious, think of myself as greater than I am, perhaps. I believe I’m here because I want someone to see me. I mean, really see me past the costumes and makeup sarcastic mask. And perhaps I want to be part of something bigger, a part of the narrative instead of an outsider again. It sounds like this is the experience to break down walls.
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And one of the symbols for duality – and also for wholeness is….
“The ouroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail. Originating in Ancient Egyptian iconography, […] often taken to symbolize introspection, the eternal return or cyclicality,[4] especially in the sense of something constantly re-creating itself. It also represents the infinite cycle of nature’s endless creation and destruction, life and death.
As such, the ouroboros could be interpreted as the Western equivalent of the Taoist yin and yang symbol. ”
(Wikipedia)Carl Jung said:
“The Ouroboros has been said to have a meaning of infinity or wholeness. In the age-old image of the Ouroboros lies the thought of devouring oneself and turning oneself into a circulatory process, for it was clear to the more astute alchemists that the prima materia of the art was man himself. The Ouroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, i.e. of the shadow. This ‘feed-back’ process is at the same time a symbol of immortality, since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself and gives birth to himself. He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he therefore constitutes the secret of the prima materia which […] unquestionably stems from man’s unconscious.”
(I´m crazy or someone in another topic already talked about the use of an ouroboros in an email or something?)
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@kwanyin We have touched on the ouroboros before yes, but maybe that is something we should revisit, as it signifies so much relating to Lust. Immortality, the shadow, the one, etc. I will try to locate that original thread for you, and if you’re interested in this kinda stuff, I made a post that ties in with Ancient Egypt and all of these clues. It must be on purpose, but the post is HERE, I feel like you would like it.
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@shankfx22 I was just reading your post! 😉 thanks!
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In China, it was believed that the Universe was created by the union of the two opposites, the Earth and the Heaven. As two powerful realms, the Earth and the Heaven united to deliver the creation of the universe. This opinion goes in line with the Chinese belief suggesting that the union of the two opposites, light and darkness, produces creative energy. Just like the symbol of Yin-Yang with the duality of opposite sides existing in harmony, the infinity symbol has also been used as a representation of unity in Chinese culture.
This isn’t Egyptian belief, but I find it fascinating that this theory is shared amongst different cultures and it all pretty much means the same. The infinity symbol was associated with the ouroboros with some drawings of the serpent forming the never ending shape. I particularly like the above phrase about opposites, light and darkness, unifying and creating energy. Maybe this is the driving force behind everything in Lust. By finding our light and darkness within and bringing them together to collide, the energy created will be at it’s most high.
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@shankfx22
But the question is? How this massive energy created by this will be used?
I also love this symbolism of the yin yang, its one of my favorites. Its really shows that light does not exist without dark, rightness without caos, and all the analogies possible here. The alchemists had an amazing view of the ouroboros also, as the world serpent, that contained it all. Fascinating, really. -
But the question is? How this massive energy created by this will be used?
@kwanyin In Tension, our emotional data was collected to try to resurrect Anoch and bring him into the flesh. That may still be the goal this year, however I think the answer lies with the question “Why are we here?”. Last chapter, we were told to focus on the bigger picture, so once we truly see what that is, we will find an answer or at least be much closer to discovering it. -
I´ve joked that I´m going a little crazy here and thinking about the whole family/bigger picture thing, the whole RA/Horus/Set Ancient Egypt thing, the Sun/Son, the whole story about Horus´ eye (Resurrection) and I´m starting to think that instead of Anoch, this time they will try to rise dear Mommy form the dead, rs. (Laughs nervously while tipping). And what if instead of emotional data, their are collecting our sins this time? In here, @izryn said:
“What if Lust is asking for a twisted version of this? Pledging one’s desires, aka sins, for someone’s sacrifice and freedom. Anoch and his cult members seem to gravitate towards darkness. I don’t want any part of giving them more victims to brainwash.”, and its pretty much where my crazy and sleep deprived mind is going now… what if all this is to bring the worse in us to the surface, so they can, with all this dark energy, I dont know, “free”, someone (or something)?
Ok, If think its bad time, going wayyyy to far here. 🙂
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All very intriguing things, @kwanyin Jung has come up quite a bit in this journey. I’m going to think about your posts and try to respond intelligently. Welcome aboard.
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