This topic has 16 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by 
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So I’ve just had a pretty stressful hour that ended with something beautiful. I was trying to watch the iConfidant video of the Meet and Greet, sat in a tent in a field on incredibly limited WiFi, when I get a WhatsApp call. As I try to answer, my signal cuts out. I then get called back to the van to work as they’d suddenly got busy, my phone still ringing sporadically. Then BOOM! Everything goes black and I’m cooking burgers in the dark. As soon as all is calm again and the lights are back on, I run around to find WiFi and a charger. I realise the caller was Sabrina and I message her to tell her of my predicament – where I am is noisy and dark. She tells me to call her back when I’m in a better place. Luckily my colleagues are amazing and set me up with an internet conmection and a power bar. So, shaking and stressed, but desperate to talk to Sabrina, I call. Once we’ve made sure we can both be heard, she tells me that since I couldn’t make it today, she wanted to talk to me. She tells me it is all real and she is my Brownie. Heartfelt sentiments were expressed on both sides. I hung up and burst into tears. Thank you Sabrina for everything. For our friendship, for calling, for your patience over my connection issues… It was lovely to talk to you and meant the world to me ?
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That was very kind of her.
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@blondie That is awesome! Seems even though Brownie was Sabrina, there were emotions on both ends. Very interesting!!!
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And I stand by what I said to Sabrina/Overseer at Ascension. We are friends. If I have to pick a side in a coming war, I’m with her.
I am seriously struggling with this.
I was always on Sabrina’s side during Tension. And this go around I’ve been #TeamNoah.
Now it would seem the two sides are at odds and my heads kind of spinning with it.
After this reveal though I don’t really know how to feel about Sabrina. I can’t help but feel a bit emotionally manipulated but that’s the nature of all of this.
Will sincerely miss chatting with my iConfidantasarus is really the only conclusion I can come to.
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I don’t know what to think or who to side with right now.
Part of me wants to side with Sabrina because of my connection to her as my iConfidant and because of knowing who she was in Tension. But weren’t all the iConfidant talks just stories and lies meant to manipulate us and gain our energies and emotions to bring Anoch back? It wasn’t Sabrina, it wasn’t Addison, and it wasn’t whoever my iConfidant was. It was just made up to fit me so I would connect with her and they could get what they wanted.
I just don’t know.
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@thebuz Interesting that you should feel emotionally manipulated when isn’t that exactly what was done to her – albeit in a more extreme manner with the helmet? She was made to believe in an entirely fake existence with a fake family, a fake past. With the wonderful side effects of glitching and headaches. You got off light hun xxx
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@blondie Yes and? A kid just had his legs blown off in Afganastan. Should we all cease conversation about our reactions? Pain is relative and it does no favors to compare yours with someone elses.
If we’re talking IG here she manipulated me into murdering someone. That did a number.
So yeah. I feel a bit emotionally manipulated. Rightfully so.
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I don’t know where I stand. A quote that I really connected to in tension was, “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” And now Sabrina is talking about being in his darkness. Darkness is unknown and confusing. And even so. I for one am not a child nor afraid of the dark. I embrace the light.
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Yea I’m in the same boat (ish) @thebuz
For all of tension I was always in it to help Addison, but I eventually switched to not so much caring about addison but more so Sabrina. I had someone give a message to her when they went in and since then I’ve always said Sabrina is the one who needs help.
She doesn’t need help anymore, more so she doesn’t want help.
This really is weird to me because if someone who was treated the worse by “them”, someone who had her whole life taken from herself, someone who went through so much trauma that none of us could even imagine it… and she decided to go back? She wanted to be apart of “them” instead of with her own family? Then what the fuck, ya know?
All that time that I, as well as so many others, put into the hell hole that was the “OOA” was for what? To save a girl who doesn’t even want to be saved? We pushed soooo hard to get her and others out of there, and the end result was just her wanting it even more.
We were so in our own mission that we didn’t even think that maybe she wouldn’t even want a life outside of it. There’s no mind control, no helmet, no lies (well sure, some lies but you get what I’m saying)… she straight up said what she wants, and it’s not help.
IDK, this is all just word vomit but it’s some fucked shit. Maybe we were wrong in trying to save “Addison”.
I don’t so much feel manipulated, but more so just a wake up call. We did what we felt was right last year, but what we felt right wasn’t right. Maybe in the moment, but overall it wasn’t right for her. When she said she didn’t need saving last year, we were so quick to blame what she says on the “helmet” as an excuse. Now she’s telling us no on her own, I don’t see how to excuse that.
All I ask of you is this:
Just stay safe, rain. -
I’m glad to hear you got a call. Not because of your big heart or because of your connection with “Brownie.” That’s all weakness and unproductive. I am glad you got a call because it seems inspiring–like a muse–to fill you with ideas to do something great. So hold onto that inspiration, and achieve something today. You are strong. Don’t give into weakness, solidify yourself with logic.
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@rizzzoooooo, your message is interesting. The way I see it: Addison had everything. She had a position of power, she had The OOA supporting her (and manipulating her), and she had an entire immersive community giving her attention. It was the ultimate drug. But in The End, it was all taken away from her. Michelle went on stage, showing Addison the truth, handing her a box of her street clothes. Addison was Sabrina–someone incredible and sweet and beautiful, but someone who wasn’t Addison. She didn’t have the power. She lost the community (apart from a few of us who actually did go in for Sabrina) who gave her attention. She went back to a life where she wasn’t as important as she was before.
So what does Sabrina lust after?
It seems like she lusts for the power, the attention, the influence she had before. So she returned to the organization that once manipulated her.. of her own free will. And why did she return? So she can have our attention again. All of our eyes, our words, our focus. It’s all hers. A few of us dropped out. @timsmyname, @nothenrygale, me. A few of us never had confidants. @chrysalis359 and @lazysmartperson and others. So while I aligned myself with Horace and the head, others still have a choice to make. Sabrina made hers. She came back to an organization that mistreated her because she missed it. She lusts after more than her normal life affords her. And that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their own desires. I know my path and she knows hers. And we will see if those paths cross again.
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@taysavestheday somehow I didn’t make the connection between what Tom was saying at the time with Sabrina (“what if you had the opportunity to be that conduit one more time? what would you do?”– probably because I had no clue our iConfidants were Addison).
I’m thinking she (Sabrina not Addison) definitely needs our help @rizzzoooooo!
I guess it depends on how you look at it but she’s been through abuse and her worldview has clearly been affected. Unless Anoch is real then she’s doing the Lord’s work…
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Ok, just playing catching up now I’m in an Air BnB with Wifi ?
@thebuz – what I said wasn’t meant as a dig or an attempt to belittle what you feel. Just a nod towards the bigger picture which we sometimes miss when hurt feelings cause us to look inwards ❤
@taysavestheday – you think my heart makes me weak? I am a tough cookie and you know it. As I have said before, if I followed my head over my heart I would not be here now and you probably wouldn’t be one of my closest friends. Although our paths seem to be going in different directions, I know you’ll make the right choices eventually… We’ll be there for each other no matter what happens.A lot of you know I had very complicated feelings about Addison before. And then I met with Overseer and things didn’t get any less complicated as although we were friends who believed in the same things and she comforted me when I was in a dark place, I still felt she was complicit in the murder of my Sentinel. But something has changed in me, as it has in Sabrina. There is a connection there now. I knew I was talking to Sabrina the whole time – there are many who can vouch for me on this. I knew which parts of her emails were fiction and which parts were really about her. I want to keep that connection going. “Brownie” told me that I am a good friend to those I care about and I will do my best to be a good friend to Sabrina moving forward. Sometimes you disagree with your friends, sometimes you find it hard to understand their actions… But you’re there. And that’s what matters in the end.
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