Why Is Might Be About Sex After All

Ugh.
Mr. Grey is not about dominance and submission.
And while I don’t think your point is wrong at all, it would take a miracle for me to want to submit to Noah, based on what I’ve seen thus far.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Megan.

1. No, it is absolutely not. First of all, “sado-masochism” is not dominance and submission. Those are two separate concepts. Second, that book is about neither. It’s a very badly written book that is horribly researched and is primarily about an abusive relationship.

2. I don’t know what that means but ok. I’m just saying there’s absolutely nothing dominant about Noah.

For a really, REALLY good read, try Carrie’s Story by Molly Weatherfield.

To be a stickler, it just needs to be said every time 50 shades is mentioned out loud. On the internets. In person. It is only a shining, sad example of everything and anything can have a market…
…50 Shades was originally twilight fan fiction, which gained steam and then the names were changed.
So then:
Mr. Grey=Edward/=Noah.

However,I do wholeheartedly believe they were going for that image type. But behind the curtain, there aren’t sexy vacations and red rooms, there’s just confusion and pain.

@chicar You should really stop referring to sado masochism and dominance as one concept. It’s really, really not. They are not one in the same. They are not mutually exclusive. BDSM is bondage, dominance, AND sadomasochism.

And fun fact! You can be dominant in a variety of aspects. You can have a dominant personality AND be sexually submissive.
One of the most common clients of Dominatrixes are high level business men who control life in a work environment and want to release control.

And the only thing I can see so far that likens Mr. Sinclair to Mr. Grey is that they are men in executive positions that wear suits.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Meghan Mayhem.

If anything Sarah is wearing the red tie here.

No, no, and no.

Well, this actually plays into the broader theme of public projection and who we are in private or in crisis moments. Our introduction to Noah is a two dimensional Frankenstein’s monster of Patrick Bateman, Gordon Gekko and Tyler Durden. He is unassailably successful and odious in impression. But quickly we see that in reality he is not. In person, amplified human flaws (whether medical or mental) are apparent and he is the complete opposite of stable, self-assured and successful. It is precisely these flaws that engender sympathy whereas the desired characteristics push away some and attract others… that requires individual analysis on what that says about us. Also, in his current state ( yes I read the books), he’s more the unstable jilted lover with a gun.

On the other hand we have Sarah, self-assured, methodically taking actions to try to maintain control, firm in her philosophy. And clearly, we have someone who has fallen for that in a very big way. I wonder what Sarah is like at three in the morning on her own?

Sorry for the ramble.

@theladyj – I can see on surface what you mean but I think there’s so much personally wrapped up for me (and many others here) in such a comparison that surface analysis is incredibly frustrating.

Personally I think that ALL of Tension and Lust come much closer to exploring bdsm than 50 Shades of Grey does. There is so much more in what we do about dominance, submission, trust, and consent, and for people whose relationships hinge on these concepts, it can feel patronizing to try to wrap that up in an idiotic douchebag alpha-male figure in a suit and assume that that’s going to represent what is for many a much more personal, deeper journey.

@chicar – I’m sorry if I was hard on you, it’s this fucking state, I have to hold it in all day long and be “nice” to people here, so I’m sorry. Maybe you will have to trust me on this but those books are not highly regarded by people who actually live that “lifestyle” (a word I hate). There are serious problems within that particular community and a lot of them stem from the confusion that comes from people assuming that the behavior exhibited in those books IS kosher.

And when you have a group of people who are engaged in a fringe experience that most of society would frown upon – hell, that their own family or friends think they’re insane for engaging in – you need to be very careful about how you conduct yourselves in order to be able to continue and demonstrate that what you’re doing is safe-ish, and everyone who is there wants to be there and is totally cool with it, and aware of the consequences of their choices. And when someone comes along and screws around with that because they’re not fully understanding what they’re playing with, people who have come to love that experience and community and consider it family feel threatened. They understood they were playing an adult’s game and would like to continue to do so, but need everyone else on board to understand that as well.

But back to bdsm.

@coryphella Noah’s gonna spank your naughty ass! Submit now

Yeah no.