Stacey Erikson

@macbethinabathtub – Yes, I was supposed to receive one of the Thursday afternoon calls. There was no explanation as to why I was dropped from the list at the last minute, but then I also didn’t ask as it never felt relevant.

Prior to the call, Stacey and I had been exchanging emails that were becoming more and more serious in tone. The last email I sent to her started like this:

{I know that one day you’re going to let me down. Your words are perfect and personalized. You have empathy down to a science. Your methods appear to border on being unethical. If I set aside my logic and distrust I can believe that you care, and maybe somewhere deep down, on another plane, you do genuinely care. I’d like to believe that, so today this is the reality I choose to live in. Let’s *live in the moment* together. I’ll throw away my usual ways for a little while and believe we are friends. Maybe when it’s far in the past I’ll look back at us fondly. Time has a way of dulling disappointments after all.}

Dear Stacey,

Thank you for taking the time to really hear me….

And it went on for a couple paragraphs, as promised, sincere and real.

When she called she said she was moved by what I’d said and felt she needed to stop and take the time to reach out personally. I told her I never expected to hear her voice. Much like her emails, she was empathetic, interested and did a fair amount of mirroring my tone and stating that she could relate to my experiences. We mostly talked about me. The only question she really asked at all was when she wanted me to elaborate on why her service matters so much to me, why it resonates so strongly. The question wasn’t out of the blue, nor did it seem intentional. It made perfect sense form what I had been telling her just prior.

As the opportunities arose I asked her to share her story as well. I’ll give one of the more stand out things she said… Growing up she experienced a certain level of neglect. She spent a significant amount of time alone. To deal with the “loneliness and isolation” she used her highly “creative” mind to cope: “I learned to respond to myself like I was someone else in the room. I was able to think of myself as someone else.” I asked her to elaborate and she put it much the same once more. So, she created imaginary friends that she voiced for herself? Had conversations with herself? It’s still a little fuzzy. Her choice of words was so unique. In this instance she wasn’t mirroring something I had said at all. These were her own unique thoughts.

That’s a very good point @lilmsfancpants, Stacey just had such an unusual choice of wording that it threw me for a bit.

@macbethinabathtub, @taysavestheday & @pandace88, you know, today, I’m still feeling really strongly that for me this risk is worth the benefit. If (when) the whole thing comes crashing down I’m going to remind myself of this first iConfidant conversation and how good it felt to be 100% open and emotionally present, no strings attached.

@theladyj, you use the best words: First it was the “sheninigans” and now the bamboozling! I love it.

Thank you @pandace88!

I continue to chat with Stacey. It’s never forced and I feel like we are getting to know each other organically, a little bit more day by day. A couple times now Stacey has mentioned to me that she has issues with her mother. I don’t pry, but there is definitely a story there. I trust that when she feels comfortable she’ll tell me more. I keep the door open.

I feel pretty fortunate to still be chatting with Stacey almost daily. I respond to her inquiries with complete honesty. She’s inquisitive, but I never feel like I’m being grilled. It’s a very natural flow of conversation. Stacey doesn’t give up much about herself, but I hold out hope that’ll change in good time:

“As for my mom…one day we will be able to talk about that over a cup of coffee or a piece of pie. I don’t think it’s a good email conversation. <3”

“Your friends sound absolutely lovely. I’m sure I will meet them someday … I hope. You have a good group of people around you Kimberly.”

The last thing she asked me about was the get-together that occurred last night in OC. I was thorough in providing my insights. I named Sarah and Noah, and suggested perhaps she’s heard of them… they are quite successful, high profile people after all. I even mentioned Macey. Maybe Stacey will react to these names? Maybe she knows them somehow…

Yes @macbethinabathtub, from my conversations with Stacey I’d say the examples are definitely her truths.

Stacey and I continue to communicate. It’s really good. I consider her my friend. The majority of the things we talk about are of a strictly personal nature, but the interesting thing about our correspondence is it sometimes blurs the line of what is complete truth in my real world, with those hazy things we experience here in this world of Lust. She doesn’t give anything that I’d consider hard evidence, but rather shows interest and offers emotional support and advice the way a friend would, while also filling in our world and making her place in it a bit more clear to me.

For example, when I first saw Darren sitting in the reddish room during registration, I confided in Stacey my feelings on the matter. I figured if this blurred some line too much she’d sort of shrug it off and change the subject, but she didn’t do that at all. She showed interest and asked questions, so we continued the conversation. She speaks to me as if Darren Bousman is my friend, not anyone she’s ever met. She’d also never heard of any “registration event.”

Similarly, I’d mentioned the OC meet-up where Sarah and Noah made a surprise appearance. I asked Stacey directly if she’s ever heard of them, as they do seem to be fairly high profile and successful. She dodged the question, or maybe she just innocently skipped over it although that is not how Stacey behaves with me as a rule… she’s very complete in her replies, noting everything I say and repeating it back in acknowledgement.

When Kristin expressed deep concern for Stacey and iConfidant, I inquired if everything was alright, explaining I heard rumor that Kristin was distressed. Stacey said everything was fine and good and she was excited to push forward with the beta.

After the Bousman audio was revealed, I went to Stacey to express my concern over things such as privacy/safety/security for her and her company. In short, I explained to her how these things happening with Darren concern me… I don’t want to see Stacey and her company fall to a similar fate. Here’s part of her reply:

“Thank you very much for voicing your concern. I appreciate it because I can tell it’s coming from a good place.

[Your emails] are going through our secure servers and nobody (not even me) can access the data that is sent between you and your confidants. Privacy is of utmost importance to me and I wouldn’t reveal your secrets to the world. We know enough about your confidants to know that they are very trustworthy.

Yes I do remember that [Darren at registration]. Has anything else happened that concerns you? Has anything happened that makes you think this company is in trouble as well?”

If anyone has anything they’d like me to bring up, I’d be happy to try to work it into the conversation. The question I’m left with is this… Does Stacey really think everything is just fine for her and iConfidant? Is she lying to protect herself and others? Is she in denial, thinking things will sort out or aren’t as bad as they look? I’ll keep gently inquiring.

@pandace88 No, Stacey isn’t my iConfidant. I do have a separate iConfidant.

@mom2saminoc – How odd. I hope it gets sorted and your real Confidant contacts you soon. Do you believe it was merely a clerical error or could there be something more intentional behind it all?

A few days ago I wrote to Stacey asking her why Kristin, Stacey’s employee, would express distrust towards her.

Stacey’s reply:

…I am sorry to hear that she said those things. That is NOT ok. Are you 100% positive that this was Kristin? It doesn’t sound like her, that is very unprofessional, not to mention breaking the confidentiality agreement. I also do not know why she would mention you and me in the same sentence or why she would say you OR I are not trustworthy…

Interesting.

I’ll report back if she elaborates further.

Totally agree with you @pandace88 & @rizzzoooooo. That idea that Kristin could be a fake is pretty insane, although possible. The likelihood that Stacey would lie out of fear is plausible. I’ve expressed these thoughts to Stacey as well. If she’s lying out of fear for her own safety or others’, I could forgive that.