Mysterious call tonight

I can’t sleep…gotta share this before I forget. I got a call at 2:12am from a 386-area code number. I figured it to be a wrong number since I always expected Lust calls to be restricted. I answered and this young sounding woman says “Hi. What’s up.” I said, “Who’s this?” She replied, “Who’s this?” I pick up the phone and walk out of the room so as not to wake my husband and wondering if this is Lust related. I said something like “Where are you from?” I don’t know…was half asleep. She said something about Philadelphia but also other places like (I think she said) West Virginia? I said, “I think you have a wrong number.” She said decidedly, “Nope, I’m pretty sure I don’t.” Then she said, “I’m the woman of your dreams.” At that point, I’m waking up and laughing nervously. This must be IG but even if not, I’ll play along. I said, “Oh really. So, where are you? Philadelphia?” She said, “I never told you where I am.” I said, “So where are you then?” She said, “Thailand.” I said, “What do you do?” “I’m an architect.” “Why are you in Thailand?” “Oh, just traveling.” I said how did you get this number? She said, “Just random.” Again, I’m like, “Oh really…” By then I got my wits about me and was like, Ok, what should I ask to find out if this is IG. So, I said, “Are you with Iconfidant?” She said no. Ok… I should’ve asked more pertinent questions than that but it was 2 in the morning. She asked something about what I was doing. I said “Um…sleeping. It’s the middle of the night. Some of us have to go to work…” I said, “I’m tripping out right now…” She said, “Oh, are you on acid?” I was like, “No..” Then I thought to ask, “What time is it where you are?” She said, “25.” I said, “25? Um, there are only 24 hours. What’s 25?” She said simply, “Just 25.”

At this time, I’m definitely thinking sus af, but now what? I asked, “Have you done this before?” She said, “No.” “Then why now?” She said, “I told you. You’re the woman of my dreams.” So, I’m all out of practice with flirting and shit, so I was like, “So…what’s your name?” “Melissa.” Then, “How old are you?” She said, “16.” “I cut in… no, you’re not-” She said, “No, I’m 35.” I told her that I thought from her voice she sounded about 27 or so. She said that she does come off younger than her age. At that point, I said, “Tell me about yourself.” She said, Well, that’s a loaded question.” “Then, give me the load.” She didn’t quite catch my meaning and asked me to repeat. I did and she was like, “All over your face?” I said, “No, you said it was a loaded question. So, give me the load. Tell me.” Then she diverted to, “Wanna get married?” I laughed and said, “Sorry, hun, but I’m already married.” She asked, “Want me to join in?” or something to that effect. I said, “Sure, that would be great. I’d be down.” “She said, “Great. Just let me know when.” I said, “Ok, will do, but I’ve gotta get to bed.” She said that I could call her anytime. I said I would then got off the phone.

I climbed back into bed and about 10 minutes later, I get a text from her. “Hay hay hay” So I read and rolled back over. Then it said, “Sup Alecia.” I never gave her my name… I wrote back “Send me some pix so I’ll have a surprise when I wake up.” Thought I’d get a face, but it was just a picture of someone’s legs in white stripper heels with rhinestones. The reply was, “Pi Naked and dancing on the dining room table thinking about you….” Maybe she meant “Hi?”

Well, that’s the story. What do you all think?