Your Shadow Self

[Kimberly Stewart]

I’ve been having some fun thinking up what my Lust friends, associates, and… others might look like in true shadow form, as a reflection or a pure opposite.

Mine might be something like this: A timid carnivore who worries endlessly what others think, loves loud drunken gatherings, and accepts everyone as one of God’s perfect creatures. She’s never read a book, cough drops make her gag, and Donald Trump is her ultimate favorite. This wishy washy bitch hesitates often, curses never, and would throw @rizzzoooooo under a bus without giving it a second thought.

What would your shadow look like?

[Anonymous]

My shadow would look would look like Manus, father of the abyss.

But considering that I sorta know already, I believe that the shadow and non-shadow exist within the same creature.

[Anonymous]

@electrichippo That’s amazing. My shadow would probably be a Scientologist.

[Jackie]

My shadow is a very pious, monotone, and probably eats a considerate amount of kale.

[Kristin]

My shadow self would despise Taco Bell. ? (P.s. Imy CS ?)

• This reply was modified 7 years ago by Kristin.
• This reply was modified 7 years ago by Kristin.

[Lukas L]

My Shadow would be just a few shades darker than the ground it stands on LOL.

My shadow would be lazy, complacent, materialistic, and would hate new things. My shadow would also like its steak well done. My shadow is a sick sick individual.

[Brad Ruwe]

Mine would be SUPER religious, love reality TV, have a quiet voice, never laugh, be super confident in large social situations, and would think Disneyland is hell on earth. He’d also of course not lust over anything and would never sign up for something like this.

[Andrew Kasch]

Mine would be the plantiest plant to ever plant.

[Megan]

Mine would be a totally dog-loving, zero-anger-issues having Republican accountant with stellar social skills who fits right in with Minnesota culture.

[monkeymuffin333]

*contemplates her shadow and laughs herself sick*

[Kimberly Stewart]

A few additions to the above:

@monkeymuffin333 would be wearing a nun’s habit in a non-ironic, non-kinky sort of way.

@kasch’s shadow would despise @thebuz… Hey wait, I met this Andrew before!

@creepsociety would never shed a tear and wants to run Drake over with her car.

@shinobi would have a distaste for youthful brunettes with big brown eyes.

@nothenrygale would believe shouting BOO! is always the way to go.

[Kristin]

You know me so well, my love ? @electrichippo

• This reply was modified 7 years ago by Kristin.

[Meghan Mayhem]

Mine would be a passive and peaceful woman, who stays out of conflict, keeps her thoughts to herself, would never hurt a fly, and never ever drinks. She isn’t all that social, is hyper-aware and careful of the sensitivities of others, and generally just “loves people”.

[Chloe]

Mine would curse like a sailor, hate Broadway musicals and anything Disney, get up early and go hiking on the weekends, and think Donald Trump was the best human being on the planet.

[Brad Ruwe]

@electrichippo NO BOO. NEVER BOO. I’ll right my shadow self to death over this.

[Lawrence Meyers]

I want to state for the record that there is a Lawrence Meyers who runs a motion picture foreign sales company in town. He is gay. He is also a dwarf. While the latter may make him a potential target for Buz, I want to assure everyone that he is not my Shadow, nor am I, his.

I am somewhat concerned, however, that in an exchange with the Assistant to the Chairman and CEO of a public company this morning, I received this reply:

“Hi Lawrence,

Welcome! It was so nice to meet you when you interviewed and I look forward to seeing you at the Board Meetings!
I would like to introduce you to Taylor. She is our Board Liaison and handles all board correspondence, hotel requests, and board member related items. Taylor and I work together, as our jobs tend to intersect, but she is your main point of contact. Taylor has been added to this email so she can see your request. She will be able to provide more information on hotel comps and anything board related. If I can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to let me know. Thank you!”

I was not interviewed for any such Board position. Had I been, I would obviously have already been the recipient of a certain person’s seminar’s benefits. Therefore, it appears my Shadow has been appointed to an influential position in Dallas. You may all therefore rest easy until this is proven wrong.

[Michael Rizzo]

Mine would be a hippy dippy vegan who hates junk food, is all about his chakras and crystals, wants to kick puppies on the daily, loves sauerkraut, and def thinks @electrichippo is basically just the worst human being in existence smh

[Amber Ballesteros]

My shadow self would be an insecure prude who probably has blonde hair and no tattoos.

[Rebecca Horist]

Hmm.. something old timey, like a classic gentleman would be my shadow

[Taylor Winters]

My shadow would hate everything covered in sugar, be terrified of horror movies, and be completely unambitious. He would hate carpooling with @electrichippo. He would probably still live at home and have no drive in life. He’d hate community and would be content with being ignorantly blissful.

[Sean]

Everyone would hate my shadow and he’d be ugly and weak and no one would be jealous of him and he’d be dumb and wouldn’t be allowed to sit at the cool kid’s table.

[Daniel]

My shadow self probably prefers tea over coffee and wouldn’t want to do lust tbh so I think I’m safe

[thehazelverse]

Shadow Self would (generally) give a fuck what you thought, but violently hate you.

[Melissa]

I asked @blondie about this before and she said “Shadow Melissa would be ignorant and selfish and probably an evangelical Creationist”.

I’m super curious what you think @electrichippo

[Twan Intarathuch]

I think my shadow self would probably just flip the traits that I show to the world (exterior self)with the traits I try to keep hidden(interior self).

For example my normal self would look like this:
Exterior self: Warm, Friendly/Empathetic, Happy-go-lucky bordering on foolish, Selfless
Interior self: Competitive, Judgmental, Calculating, Angry

My shadow self would be the opposite:
Exterior self: Competitive, Judgmental, Calculating, Angry
Interior Self: Warm, Friendly/Empathetic, Happy-go-lucky bordering on foolish, Selfless

[Kimberly Stewart]

My additions** to the new entries:

Shadow @taysavestheday – A slob with no manners, perfect vision and a beast of a girlfriend. Cheated his way through every school he’s ever attended because he’s honestly quite dumb. Allergic to duct tape and fake blood.

Shadow @coryphella – The owner of a creepy cabin in the woods containing the corpse of the one and only Aleister Gordon. Voted for George W. Bush, and Donald Trump, and is a card carrying member of the NRA.

Shadow @thegilded – Irrational and overly sensitive crybaby who calls Coward the moment he’s ordered to pleasure himself in front of someone not named Tiffany. Can’t hold his liquor… seriously it’s pathetic.

Shadow @mkarrett – Stone-cold strategist who’s allergic to booze and could give a fuck about your feelings. She’d sell out her husband, brother and dogs in one fell swoop in exchange for nothing more than a free pass to the local strip club. Also, hates escape rooms.

Shadow @hazelverse – Spear headed the failed movement against Prop 64. Believes meditation is for losers.

Shadow @immortalconqueror – Sane. (IDK?)

**Disclaimer: This is the work of Shadow @electrichippo. All complaints should be directed to her, not me. Thanks!

[thehazelverse]

Bahahahahahhaha. You are on pointtttte.

[Anonymous]

Shadow Dan needs help hiding a doe-eyed brunette’s body. Any takers? There will be punch and pie…

[Anonymous]

Really? At least I’m not a fucking childish hippo.

Get over yourself. You old timers are going to make this fail if people choose not to participate because of how shitty you are as a person.

[Max Z]

@immortalconqueror

:O

[Addison]

Shadow Addison trusts everyone, especially people that always seem to be in the right place at the right time. He never lets feelings get in the way of judgment. He’s short and bald, and does not get involved in cult-based-ARG forum drama.

um. i’m worried shadow Addison is kinda just III.

[Sean]

We’ve long had a tradition of lovingly poking fun at each other. Calling someone insane, crazy, a plant, delicate, or hell even in my case a rabid alcoholic, is all par for the course.

If anyone is truly offended here, know that while we are between major story developments our only outlets are to 1. Blindly theorize and 2. Poke fun at the events and ourselves. I truly don’t believe anyone was intending to be offensive here

[KINGKILL33]

I’ll play along @electrichippo, tell me what my shadow Mike would be like.

[M.]

@thecontroller perhaps it’s time to gain some control of the boards. This community was built with love and I personally would hate to see it being torn apart by this OG vs Newbie bs.

@immortalconqueror I’m not quite sure where the hostility towards those of us who have been a part of this since early last year comes from. This community initially has welcomed you AND it was “old timers” who actually suggested getting together with you during your trip to LA. It seems like you may be burning bridges before the fire even starts. There’s no need for this. We are a community and one that the creators are proud of. Let’s not try and destroy what’s been built.

[thehazelverse]

Now, now. I think it’s fair to say that @immortalconqueror has been a little agitated on the forums. I don’t think he saw the fun in it. I’m sure he sees his error now.

[KINGKILL33]

Ok sorry, @electrichippo, just catching up with what’s going on here. Ok Shadow Mike would be the most trusting, honorable Shadow. Would prefer a glass of water over alcohol anytime. You could also depend on that he won’t be looking to cause trouble everywhere he goes.

[Anonymous]

Okay @immortalconqueror. There is ZERO reason for that kind of hostility whether in game or not.

Pump your brakes.

[M.]

and @electrichippo…

Shadow Michelle would not be suspicious of others, would be asexual, and the clone of June Cleaver.

[Melissa]

@immortalconqueror

Time out. I’m going to echo @thegilded here a bit:

Kim @electrichippo basically inferred I’m an alcoholic but I’m not pissed, that fucking hilarious. Your comment however is not cool which leads me to my next point.

This “Old Timer” is taking out time next Friday, along with other Old Timers, to meet you at your request. I didn’t have to do jack shit but because I’m excited about our growing Community, I did. You want to possibly rethink your blanketed statement before shitting on the forum?

[Brad Ruwe]

I’m a “newbie” myself here, coming in to Tension SUPER late (November). I don’t feel any sort of “old timer” hatred is warranted whatsoever. The crew here has been pretty great so far.

[Max Z]

@nothenrygale Strongly agreed. I went to Ascension for the first and only time on what I think was the very last showing, and it was a last minute impulse decision so I hadn’t really been participating or even looking at the boards until a few days before I went. All that being said, having been here roughly the same amount of time as you, any interaction I’ve had with the OGs has been exceedingly pleasant. It is not an exclusive club by any stretch of the imagination, at least not in my experience.

[Chloe]

@nothenrygale – Newbie here as well, I didn’t learn about Tension until it was all over and I could try out Lust, ever since I started everyone’s been really great and welcoming. I’m quite glad to have the “old timers” here to help me out.

[Maxwell R]

Shadow Max huffs gasoline and throws rocks off freeway overpasses, He enjoys the smell of burnt hair and lives in a shed on a mountain biding his time until the apocalypse.

[thehazelverse]

KANT

[thehazelverse]

PLATO

[thehazelverse]

DESCARTES

[Megan]

@maxzumstein – you were at the last show? Then we were there together!

[Megan]

OK I’m just catching up because I was out meeting up with @noap and @ziegenbart (who are lovely, btw) – but, seriously, @electrichippo, I am deeply, deeply offended at the suggestion that I would kill Aleister Gordon. Seriously. You have triggered me. I am a delicate snowflake and I will now go to my safe space. It’s full of cats. And pictures of AG.

[Michael Rizzo]

Lmao @kingkill33 shadow would be a total straight edge, listens to only Christian rock/will unfriended you if you even suggest you like marilyn Manson, wants to only stay indoors and hates any kind of sunlight and thinks nature in general is just overrated… no one likes shadow Mike and shadow mike likes no one

[KINGKILL33]

HAHAHAHA @rizzzoooooo that’s exactly what Shadow Mike would be like!! Fucking prick better not show up with his DC Talk albums. ?

[Michael Rizzo]

@kingkill33 LOL

@addisonborn shadow is also the worse. The dudes got literal shit hair. He went to the barber and got a patches hair style, he has absolutely no style and wears the same dirty white shirt everyday, he has no sense of humor, he does NOT live for any drama and it lowkey scares him. He doesn’t “get” wrestling and thinks it’s dumb af. Shadow GG also has an absolute trash aesthetic (if you can even call it an aesthetic, it’s ridiculously unpleasing)

[Candace]

@electrichippo Aw I wish u knew me so you could shadow roast me! Lol #goals

I guess my shadow self would be something like this: She’s a total prude or asexual. She hates horror movies and Halloween. She’d have no tattoos because she doesn’t understand why anyone would alter their body like that. She’d never cuss! She’s also a raging alcoholic who hates books because reading is for losers.

[Candace]

I know we’re doing this for fun but on a serious note, I don’t think shadows are our opposites but more like hidden parts of ourselves that we don’t like to let out. So in that sense, my answer would be quite different!

[Tim Redman]

My shadow would live on the forums 24/7 while eating sushi and drawing endless sketches of @electrichippo.

[Craig Schaefer]

My shadow self wouldn’t be able to resist this question, not for a heartbeat. He’d make the scene with a quip and a wink and an anecdote to improve his public position (fact: Shadowcraig HATES puppies) as he continues to lie to you, when the reality is he’s not so staggeringly different from the original. He’s just carefully, correctly wrong where it counts.

[Max Z]

@coryphella Hmmm, were we? Now you’ve given me pause. Maybe I wasn’t the last show. It says in my old emails that my show was November 12, 2016, 10pm processing time. So maybe not the last show but the last night? Or the second to last night? Does that date/time sound familiar?

[Kimberly Stewart]

@pandace88 said:

I don’t think shadows are our opposites but more like hidden parts of ourselves that we don’t like to let outI don’t think shadows are our opposites but more like hidden parts of ourselves that we don’t like to let out

I completely agree. This topic was more of twisted self introductions thread than anything else. All meant in jest.

For realsies, I’m on board with @izryn ‘s theory, found here:

“find-your-true-self-a-theory”

[Melissa]

@electrichippo here’s looking at you, shadow kid:

Shadow Kim would be dumb as a pile of rocks. So dumb in fact that she’d despise any form of immersive theater, args, haunts, etc because it makes her “think too much”. To boot she’d be incredibly neurotic, cries constantly and seeks approval from anybody. She has to hit the sauce all the damn time just to calm her nerves. Oh and she hates dogs. XD

[Kimberly Stewart]

@mkarrett: Eek. I hate her already. ? ?

I promised @rizzzoooooo so here goes… Shadow Rizzo doesn’t smoke and hence will live to the ripe old age of 103. This is unfortunate since the guy is a real dick and the world wold be a better place without him in it. Shadow Rizzo gets in fist fights daily, is disrespectful to women and scoffs at all cute things. He drives a big black monster truck to overcompensate for his intellectual shortcomings, is loud, freakishly short, and once stole a 3 year old’s tricycle just to see him cry. Terrible person. Eww.

I will now retire from my career in roasting. If I didn’t get to you, and you’d wanted me to, I’m blowing a virtual kiss in your general direction right now so you better catch it.

[Megan]

@maxzumstein I was November 12 11pm, so right after you.

[Lenize]

My shadow self would be very active in the forums and post frequently, hate all things Disney and be scared of everything except spiders 😛

[Anonymous]

@electrichippo Mine would probably be someone who’s more assertive, bossy, overly sexual, and narcisstically confident. Perhaps someone like Noah. Probably the closest thing to a bitch as possible.

[Masomoment]

my shadow self would be this bubbly normal character who never wants to be hurt and plays safe.

Scary thought really…..

[Anonymous]

Let’s talk about this me that isn’t me.

Shadow Crystal:
Doesn’t know what anxiety is
Needs senpai to notice her in the worst way
Gullible, has a talent for joining cults
Super carnivore party animal woooooo
Polite, family friendly sense of humor
Not good with the computer

[Lucus]

My shadow would be pure evil. He would hate everything and everyone. But he would speak perfectly and never curse. He would be an absolute delight to work for. And he would most likely be a multi millionaire because he would be good with money and know what to do with all his ideas. My shadow would look slot like what I imagine Noah Sinclair is like. Kind of…off the top of my head.

[Chiznit]

Shadow me can to get to bed at a reasonable hour. He also knows how to be content with what he has and has amazing self control. He doesn’t run off emotion and is incredibly organized. The self reflection this question has left me with is kind of astounding. Shadow me is everything I wish I was?

[Anonymous]

My shadow/rebrand has ample opportunities for immersive theater where he explores himself. He has many friends to share/discuss those experiences with and has no fear of rejection/irrelevance after joining a new community 1500 miles away. He will share his past and current struggles with people that relate and will listen empathetically to those that want to do the same. He will deny those that caused that pain to continue because he realises that every pain in his life is a result of his choices, his choice to act it not to act. There are always choices.

[Author]

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