January 31, 2018 at 3:11 pm #28344ChelseaParticipant
So I’ve been MIA for awhile. Sorry about that.
At the MSE (which I still haven’t fully recapped here because I suck), Noah and I had a few moments alone.
Sabrina led me away from the group and into a room. I met Noah by the windows after Sabrina left and closed the door behind her. We spent a few seconds in silence before Noah said “I’ve been staring at this freeway for an hour.” My ears perked. He continued. Noah: “Is there anything you wish you could leave?” I answered honestly, “Yes.” He chuckled, “Me too.” He began speaking in a metaphor about what it’s like to grow up as an alcoholic with parents who run a brewery, how alcoholism is just part of who he is. Then the metaphor stopped. Noah told me that he’s “being handed the keys to the fuck palace.” He continued, “I thought I might be able to make change from the inside, but now I’m not sure I want to. The power is… intoxicating. Is that wrong?” I answered, “Noah, is anything ever really wrong?” He stared at me and didn’t reply before taking me to the door and returning me to Sabrina. Before he closed the door, he looked at Sabrina and said, “Get her a drink.” Sabrina led me to the main ritual room to rejoin the group. And Noah stormed in to interrupt the ritual.
Here’s where things got weird for me. The Noah that stormed into that room was a very different Noah than the one I had just been in a room alone with. He went on his monologue about love, and it felt so much like a bullshit script. It wasn’t the Noah that I had just spoken to. It felt… fake. I feel like the words he said are the words so many of us wanted to hear. But what do we know? We know that telling us what we want to hear is kind of… Their speciality. If it was a script, who’s behalf was it on? Was it for BOS? Is he playing both sides to the middle while he figures out what he really wants? What’s the end game? What does Noah actually lust after?
What if Noah really took/takes over the OSDM? If the entire MSE was a show, a staged, fake production to put us farther down an incorrect path, if it was in fact scripted as Noah’s monologue would suggest, I have one big question: Who wrote the script?
We now have Cecelia calling @wanda102. “Then you’re smart enough to realize that their words are all lies, all of it. They’re just two lonely men trying to get attention. So STOP GIVING THEM A PLATFORM.” Where, and with whom, does this “platform” begin and end?
February 1, 2018 at 2:08 pm #28381Unseen PresenceParticipant
You know, I -think- my roommate’s conversation with Noah had both some similarity and some differences to this breakdown. She’s out of town until tomorrow but I’ll ask her when she gets back and post up her response if I think it’s either similar enough or different enough to add any details/invoke any discussion.
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