Why should I care?: Honest new user question

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This topic contains 29 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by  Sarah 9 months ago.

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  • #29345
     Athena Marenghi 
    Participant

    Everyone seems to be equally crappy for their own reasons and I’m struggling to find a way to care about any one side or individual. I’ve been here for nearly a month and following along as best I can. I’ve read up on everything I can get my hands on.

    So, that being said, why do you care? Tell me, because I really want to care too.

    *if this is better suited for Slack chat, we can move it over there. Just let me know.

  • #29347
     Megan 
    Participant

    You’ve been involved for a strange month. I would give it another month before making any judgements. I’m a strange person to answer your question as I’m not affected as easily as others and at the same time have been heavily and successfully targeted this year. I’m also not in Los Angeles. Personally I don’t believe you have to care about a side or even an individual. It can be enough to follow along with the story and figure out what’s going on. I didn’t “care” a ton during Tension about a side/individual, it’s very rare that a character in a book or movie does that to me, but I enjoyed the story and the fun. Also if you haven’t joined the #wiki channel, Kevin H. is working on getting that up to date and at some point hopefully it will have most of the story, including videos.

    • #29349
       Athena Marenghi 
      Participant

      Oh, I haven’t joined that channel yet, will do though. Thank you!

      And everyone who is involved is welcome to answer this. I’m not talking about wanting to leave or anything. And I can see this is a bit of an odd time. But I just really want to care and am having a lot of trouble doing so.

      Thank you for contributing!

  • #29348
     Kevin 
    Participant

    This is a big question, but one that’s well suited for the forums and the longer form writing it allows.

    I think every person is going to have a different answer for why the support, support, like, or don’t like the different factions and people.

    They don’t answer this question specifically, but almost two weeks ago now a bunch of people laid out how they were thinking and why: Robert started the trend, and Megan, Bryan, Michelle, Lauren, and others wrote up some great posts. I linked to them individually there, but if you scroll through the thread, you’ll get a good idea.

    If we’re talking from a more meta angle, I think people have all come to and stayed with Lust for as many different reasons as well. Some it’s the story, others the mystery, others the community, and still others their own journey through this, but mostly probably some combination of all of those and more.

    Depending on the person and what they’re looking for, they can hook into something quickly or it can take a while. With meetings for Kyle and Brad in the next few days, it looks like we’re going to start expanding outward more with a mysterious person and Noah back in the mix.

    • #29350
       Athena Marenghi 
      Participant

      I hope so. Because from where I’m sitting, “Everything Changes” looks more like “everyone’s a dick”.

      Most people seem to be supporting as a means of opposition to the opposing side. Which means that no one really cares who they’re supporting, just who they’re going against. At least, that’s what I’ve garnered.

      On a meta level, I can see why people are invested historically speaking. But I’m more talking about the now. What is going on right now that’ll leave people invested in something? I love the ideas of mystery and intrigue, of course. I’m just not seeing enough breadcrumbs to support that.

  • #29351
     Lawrence Meyers 
    Participant

    You raise a really good question. For starters, The past three months have been highly unusual as far as narrative goes. Only in the past few days have certain people returned to the arena. My suspicion is that, from an out of game perspective, the creators have been reflecting on the experience thus far and rejiggering the experience, while also simultaneously pursuing their own projects and living their lives.

    So in regards to the ARG, I would suggest you continue to observe and speak when the moment strikes you. I think the emergence of Noah, the mysterious JP, Molly’s boss, especially Darren, are signals to me that things are about to change in a very big way. Perhaps that will draw you more into the storyline.

    In a larger sense, the purpose for ARG and immersive theater are, for me and I believe many of us here, the emotional rewards that come from the drama and the live events. In my particular case, the tension experience was a transformative event. The lust experience was profoundly impactful. In ways I haven’t even discussed here.

    So, keep watching, keep listening let yourself be present, aware, into the events that are occurring, and perhaps at some moment something will grip you.

  • #29352
     Robert Fuller 
    Participant

    I agree that this is a complex question. I’ve had this conversation with people and we often find ourselves having difficulty coming up with an answer. There are participants who have been doing this for a year or more who don’t care, but who continue on out of … habit? Hope? FOMO? Sense of community? There are days when I’m super into it and excited, and other days when I just don’t care at all.

    So, honestly, I don’t have an answer for why a newcomer should care. It’s always been difficult for newcomers to latch onto something here. After I first joined back in July, I saw a lot of new people sign up but none of them stuck around, except for @unseenpresence. It wasn’t until the MSE in December that some newcomers saw a good jumping-on point and found a reason to stay. But now … I dunno. I’m not really sure what kind of answer you’re looking for. Ask yourself why you joined in the first place, what you were hoping to get out of it, why you want to care. Then ask yourself if the answers to those questions are worth the effort you’ll have to put into reaching them. And make no mistake, being a Lust participant requires effort. It is not a casual activity. If you’re just here to follow a story with likable characters, like a long novel, you’re going to be disappointed. But then maybe you’ll feel a rush of adrenaline from a mysterious, late-night phone call, and think, “Yeah, I want that experience again.” And then you’ll be hooked.

  • #29353
     Argentrose 
    Participant

    @goddessohwisdom (Athena):

    I’d say that the only reason you -should- care is because you’re interested in being a part of something. That said, this ARG in particular isn’t an easy place to find belonging. It’s something I struggle with, even now, and it takes effort to want to continue.

    DLB said that this thing isn’t for a lot of people, and I think he really meant it.

    For some people, they want a thing to immerse themselves into, and if they’re not immediately brought into the fold, it can feel like you’re not wanted or needed–or even cared about. I’d say, if anything, reach out to the people in the community that interest you. Contact them privately or call them out publicly–if you’re not getting a response.

    Thus far, I’ve found it difficult to get a response from characters within the ARG. Being new to ARG’s in general, I don’t know a lot of the players, let alone the people that are a part of them. But there are a few people with whom I’ve found some common ground. And granted, most of that is online, which makes it hard to form any kind of meaningful connection. The events further those connections, I think; so, it’s easier to become involved and begin to care when you’re a part of an event. And believe it or not, you’re going to be overwhelmed, no matter how much you study, or how hard you try to be ready, in the know, or ask other people here questions.

    But you have to start somewhere–and reaching out to others is definitely worth it; at least, that’s what I’ve found so far. Caring, though–that’s something you’ll have to find within yourself. Find the things that speak to you. Share yourself with the community, and with any luck, they’ll share of themselves in return.

    And if they don’t–don’t get discouraged. By and large, we all have busy lives, and while this is a part of it, it isn’t ALL of it. Still, the more you reach out, the more you ask questions, and the more you share with others, the more reasons you’ll find to care about this odd, little corner of the world.

    <3

    • #29358
       Athena Marenghi 
      Participant

      The thing I think I’m struggling with the most (metawise) is that this has literally every element of things I am interested in. There is absolutely no reason that I shouldn’t be utterly captivated by this. If everyone is poised to be a backstabber though, what is there to invest in? You can’t trust anyone (see every character ever) and you can’t trust anything you hear (see Lia’s original story, and depending on who you ask, her new one).

      Morgan’s call helped. I mean, at least he seems to give two shits.

    • #29361
       Meghan Mayhem 
      Participant

      @goddessohwisdom

      If everyone is poised to be a backstabber though, what is there to invest in?

      I suppose that’s the thing to think about.
      Love, friendships, life in general. There is ALWAYS a chance that you’re going to get fucked over. The blunt truth is that you will, in some regard. Sometimes people lie. Sometimes hearts get broken. Sometimes things don’t work out. But nothing in life is about the end game. You don’t get to “win” at love, or friendships, or life. It’s about the journey. So you fall in love with someone and in the end they break your heart. It hurts, but you had a journey up to that point with love and memories and happiness. And you learn and you grow.
      So choosing to believe in something, yes. There is a very real chance that no matter which way you go, you will get hurt. No, not a real chance. It will. You will get hurt. But believe in your choices, because there’s no winning, there’s only the journey.

  • #29354
     Athena Marenghi 
    Participant

    Just got a phone call from a no caller ID, Morgan. He called me out for my post about not caring but wanting to. Specifically focused on the idea that people are taking an opposition as opposed to actually siding with something they believe in. Siting that is what we do nowadays ie women’s march etc. He then quoted Elie Wiesel, “We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” He gave me a mini summary of the BOS and what it means to him; ultimately helping people who get trapped by OSDM. Which is great. And he asked me if I still thought he was a dick. I said probably not. He also said I’m much nicer to speak to than I seemed online.

    I’m glad he called. He sounded very sincere. And I appreciate that. He doesn’t sound nearly as contradictory as he sounds online. I’m glad I got to speak to him. He at least seems like he has a good head on his shoulders and maybe the impressions I was getting about him were mostly… stress based? I wish I’d asked more questions, any really. But it didn’t seem like he was really calling for a chat, more to clarify himself.

    • #29355
       Robert Fuller 
      Participant

      Yep, Morgan is definitely a smooth talker, that one.

    • #29356
       Chelsea 
      Participant

      “…ultimately helping people who get trapped by OSDM.”

      Well well well. That’s certainly a different answer than “sunk cost fallacy”, isn’t it.

    • #29359
       Athena Marenghi 
      Participant

      Yeah. He seemed to have a bit of a white knight trope to him.

    • #29357
       Blondie 
      Participant

      “We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

      ::swoons::
      Excuse me while I fan myself in the corner… I’ve come over all unnecessary…
      🖤

  • #29360
     Sarah 
    Participant

    @goddessohwisdom , I’m not a character, but you can trust me. <3

    • #29362
       Athena Marenghi 
      Participant

      I DONT BELIEVE YOU! You’re clearly a plant, a …5 year plant!!!

      Just kidding. I know I can trust you ❤️

  • #29363
     Tim Redman 
    Participant

    You don’t need to care about any of these people here or anything that happens. Just care about yourself. If you put in the time you will experience some great moments here. They will come, but you have to work for it.

  • #29365
     Sarah 
    Participant

    To be perfectly honest, I have had similar questions all throughout the entire year. How do I connect with characters who don’t seem savory? Who generally all feel like shitty people? I don’t think there is too easy of an answer except go with what feels right. Sometimes this can pay off. Sometimes it’ll lead you nowhere and left questioning about whether or not you’re just wasting everyone’s time. However, I’ll encourage you to do what feels authentic. If it doesn’t feel authentic, it won’t ring true and you’ll feel a weird little hole in your gut. Or that may be indigestion.

  • #29367
     Unseen Presence 
    Participant

    I, too, have had these questions on and off.

    Having joined here before the MSE, there have been times where I have legitimately thought, “Isn’t -everyone- involved on either side actually part of the problem?” Or “I can’t join one side and joining the other side might mean aligning myself with really terrible people. So what do I–what CAN I–do here?”

    I don’t know that there is an answer that will work for everyone–or even ANYONE, completely.

    I’ve ultimately stuck around because I want to see behind the curtain, as it were. To find out what the final answers are, to see where things go. So I’m sticking around because I’m incredibly interested in the “story” of what’s happening here. Even if it’s not a story–even if it’s all true in some fashion–there is still a narrative being told here, and I am interested in seeing how it ends.

    I’ve also begun to realize that I, personally, am willing to examine the darker side of myself and contemplate things like what I might do if it meant that I gained power on the far end, what I might do to achieve my goals. This is a place where that sort of examination can happen–and that’s of value to me.

    So for me, at least, it’s become far less about caring/not caring about a specific individual. I truly feel sometimes that the relationships that have happened long before I got here are so deep it’s nearly impossible to even attempt to have that investment on my end. So I’m approaching things for myself and will likely stay here as long as I’m learning about myself. Or, if you will, as long as I continue to find value in what happens and how I react to it.

    I fully expect and recognize that other people stay for reasons similar and very different.

  • #29368
     Megan 
    Participant

    Here’s what I don’t understand about this conversation.

    This is the LUST EXPERIENCE. The questions asked are about what we desire & what we will do to get it. Not what will we fight for or against. Have you asked yourself those specific questions within the context here? Or asked, even, if there is something that you want badly enough that you would give up your moral stance if offered? I feel like by treating this as just another battle wherein we pick sides, we’re missing out, whether that’s on more interesting conversations, finer points, or learning about ourselves, but perhaps even opportunities.

    • #29369
       Athena Marenghi 
      Participant

      I feel like by treating this as just another battle wherein we pick sides, we’re missing out, whether that’s on more interesting conversations, finer points, or learning about ourselves, but perhaps even opportunities.

      For sure. Which is how it’s being treated right now. OOG how the storyline is being treated. And I guess I was just “desiring” something more than picking sides. Things seem to actually be picking up now but there’s just been a lot of dead ends, red herrings, and people who don’t really seem to care about caring for something, just opposing other things. After my conversation with Morgan, I would argue that despite the way he was leading the conversation, he doesn’t necessarily just oppose ODSM, he cares about saving those who got entrapped by it. There’s a difference. In my mind at least. One can be part of the other but without actually caring about what you’re fighting for, you’re left with a hollow impression of fighting for the sake of fighting.

    • #29371
       Unseen Presence 
      Participant

      I wholeheartedly agree that the questions should be about what does one desire and what does one do to get it? That’s why ‘sides’ haven’t worked for me, for instance, terribly well in any context.

      I’ve been pretty clear, I think, that what I desire is to see behind the curtain. And if that means I end up -having- to choose a side, then so be it. If I don’t have to ever do so, also fine. It’s why I can justify in my own head being completely willing to see what the OSDM/Order/whatever has to offer while still saying I like Morgan as an individual. Those are not conflicting realities for me–and until/unless I’m forced TO choose between them in pursuit of what I desire, I don’t see any reason TO choose between them. I’ve always declared myself Pro-OSDM merely because it feels like the better chance to actually see the truth–to experience it for myself.

      I don’t see that as choosing sides–but rather choosing a path through the conflict. I feel like that will always be the better, more compelling idea for me. I hope others contemplate similarly (and I think many who have been here for a while–or always–do.)

  • #29372
     Sarah 
    Participant

    I know what I really want, but I can’t pursue it. 🙂 So my amended desire would be to be to defy the expectations of others. It’s PC, but you all don’t need to know what I truly want, right? Haha.

    • #29373
       Megan 
      Participant

      No, we don’t all need to know what you truly want, I just feel that should be a central question here, if not THE central question.

  • #29375
     Sarah 
    Participant

    @coryphella because of the whole LUST component of things?

    • #29376
       Megan 
      Participant

      I don’t know what this question is referring to.

  • #29377
     Sarah 
    Participant

    @coryphella I’m referring to the “What do we want” versus “Which side should we choose?”

    • #29378
       Megan 
      Participant

      Yes, I said that in my first post.

  • #29379
     Sarah 
    Participant

    Just wanted to clarify that I was understanding correctly. Thank you.

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