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I Googled the joke Sarah started but didn’t finish. Here’s what I came up with…
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table — whole!”
“Sorry,” replied the guy. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for everything.”
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he’s in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks.
“Yeah,” replies the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first.”
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@kasch hahahaha that is funny and also interesting… learned his lesson huh…
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Just in case it’s important, the verbatim version of the joke and how it’s line broken and how it’s spread across cue cards is as follows:
Index Card 1:
A man walks into a bar with a small monkey.
The people of this establishment are very interested in this monkey but unfortunately he doesn’t do much as his owner drinks for several hours and becomes quite inebriated.”Index Card 2:
Eventually the owner stumbles out of the bar and the capuchin hops on to a pool table, takes a cue ball and swallows it whole.
The owner says in a drunken voice
-that I won’t do here-
“Don’t mind him, he will eat anything.
I will cover the damages.”Index Card 3:
And with that the drunken owner places a hundred dollars on the bar and leaves with his monkey who now holds his little extended stomach.
The next week the monkey and his owner walk into the establishment and this time the patrons are all very curious as to what the monkey will do.Index Card 4:
Fortunately for these onlookers it doesn’t take long for the monkey to hop up on the bar where he grabs a maraschino cherry and sticks it inside of his rectum, he then pulls it out of his rectum and places it inside his mouth and happily swallows it whole.Index Card 5:
The bartender is astonished and says “What in the hell was that?”
The owner replies “Oh well, he still eats anything but now he measures first.” -
You had to start a new thread in another section didn’t you… ?
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