August 3, 2017 at 6:49 pm #21223
For a long time, I made a concerted effort to not cry about things. But, what that meant (for me) was that I was closing myself off from truly embracing the complexity of emotion inside me. Like, I believed that it was silly/unjustified/weak to cry when I felt like it. When I finally let go, and allowed myself to cry… even at “stupid” stuff, like sentimental movies… I realized that crying actually felt good, and I felt like a more whole person. Strength in vulnerability, and all that.August 3, 2017 at 8:24 pm #21227Lawrence MeyersParticipant
Let Rosie Grier make you feel better.August 3, 2017 at 8:55 pm #21232Meghan MayhemParticipant
“Noah, can I ask you a question? Should I be afraid of iConfidant?”
“You don’t have to be afraid of fucking anything.”August 4, 2017 at 9:44 am #21258LiaParticipant
@bcbishop, I completely agree. When I think back to the first meeting with him, I’m amazed at how much of what he revealed still rings true. Because our conversation felt relatively casual (ie. not an interview or him grilling me for personal information) I sometimes forget that he kept tying things back to The System and the ways that it could help me. He pinpointed very difficult, but crucial things for us to talk about and tried to show me that he had the answers.
In my recap, I was much more focused on giving a snapshot of his overall demeanor since no one else had met him yet, but it was all there from the beginning and I have taken what he said to heart. While I may not be the fully-actualized and realized person that The System can make me, I see the value in everything he said to me that night, and to others over the past week.
On the other hand, two things still stick out to me.
1) HOT TAKE: I don’t believe Timothy exists. The “everything’s fine” Periscope with Sarah was too strange, and I don’t buy it. So why bring Timothy up that first night?
2) The Noah Sinclair Book club picks some weird-ass shit.August 4, 2017 at 12:38 pm #21268
I think that Timmy existed once, but does not anymore. Or, at least, is being kept away from Noah and Sarah. And, I wonder if Grandpa Horace has something to do with it.
During Lia’s meeting with Noah, he said something to the effect of, “I have a son… I read to him every night”. Lots of people “talk” with loved ones who have passed, or are physically distant. Like a form of prayer, or a way to maintain the connection, even though that person is no longer with us.
Also, in the “everything’s fine” Periscope… Noah’s face when he notices the stuffed toy… to me, it’s a look of loss, of sadness… definitely something there. With Sarah, too. She’s distracted for a second when he mentions it. Something’s going on.
Losing a child would definitely be motivation for Noah to become someone other than who he once was. Perhaps his quote “I’m already dead” is a reference to being dead inside?
And, Sarah… she comes across as cold, humorless, and distant. But, I can imagine how that may be her coping mechanism. Particularly if she and Noah were unable to escape the manipulations of the very man (Horace) who took their son from them.
August 4, 2017 at 12:45 pm #21270Buz WallickModerator
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by superstar.
Timmy definitely exits because of that call to me from Sarah where she pleaded for everyone to know that it was Noah’s bloodline (this obviously matters to Horace Sinclair).August 4, 2017 at 12:50 pm #21271
Ok. So, what if the reason it was so important for Sarah to communicate this was because Horace was threatening to do something bad to Timmy if he wasn’t truly a Sinclair? Maybe Grandpa Horace is holding Timmy, and Noah and Sarah are trying to get him back, somehow?August 4, 2017 at 12:52 pm #21272
Or, maybe Sarah was pleading her case so that Horace wouldn’t harm her, as well. Doesn’t necessarily mean Timmy is still alive.August 4, 2017 at 12:59 pm #21274Hannah SchenckParticipant
@superstar I like that you brought up the idea that Horace could be involved with Timmy being withheld from Noah and Sarah. After Tanya reached out she let us know that The System breaks up and ruins families… sound familiar? She believes this is Noah’s doing but I believe it is Horace and Noah is merely being used to look like the bad guy. And maybe Noah is doing this for his father in order to get Timmy back. Remember when Horace said that him and Noah came to an uncomfortable agreement? Perhaps Timmy is being used as bait for Noah to get done what Horace wants and will be reunited with his family once Horace is happy. I know one thing: Horace is an evil asshole and I wanna see him fail and fall apart.August 4, 2017 at 1:17 pm #21278
@thebuz “Take” a hug when you leave. That’s not thievery.
(This post brought to you by TheFuzzyWuzzyTeddyBearsAndFeelGoodExperience.) 😉August 4, 2017 at 1:24 pm #21279
@shankfx22 Thanks. I’ve been thinking a lot about themes of motherhood/absent mothers, the importance of family, etc. My gut feeling (at least, at the moment) is that Sarah Thompson is now Sarah Sinclair (I know S.T. is supposedly a blonde, but hair is easily dyed). Not sure how S.T.’s own son ties into all of this. Maybe S.T. was recruited/lured into the System, and then was chosen by Horace to be the vessel for the next Sinclair (Timmy)?
So much spaghetti.August 4, 2017 at 1:31 pm #21283Hannah SchenckParticipant
@superstar knees weak, palms are sweaty…
Do we know how old Timmy is supposed to be? Brandon (Sarah Thompson’s son) is 6 (first grade). I’m not sure how Brandon ties into this as well, as he is with his father and supposedly his Aunt (Tanya) in Kansas. But yes, if Sarah Thompson is now Sarah Sinclair, she very well could be a prisoner with a warped mind in this twisted family dynamic.August 4, 2017 at 1:59 pm #21286CassandraParticipant
I love all of these theories, guys! And they seem likely. There’s got to be more to Sarah and Noah than what meets the eye. Some weakness. Timmy had to be important somehow. And people are often manipulated through their children. And yeah “the System breaks up families” seems important.August 4, 2017 at 2:23 pm #21289SageParticipant
I also think the Sarah and Sarah is too much of a coincidence to not mean something. I really think it could be her with dyed hair. I thought Timmy was a baby since Noah mentioned one time he was up to his ears in “shit and mucus” or something like that? I fear Timmy might be used as a child sacrifice which totally creeps me out, like gut punch if I have to witness that…August 4, 2017 at 2:26 pm #21293SageParticipant
Okay so last year there were certain verbal cues that would trigger things in the performance right? At the free workshop I really wanted to talk to Sarah, but it seemed frowned upon (by her and the other participants)? Like if I had just called out “Sarah Thompson?” Could that have triggered something? Still learning here, but my urge is to talk to these people?!
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